Category Archives: Prison

Mary is MY Homegirl….or Love me some Rosary!!

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October.  And if you are Catholic, like me, you may know it’s the month we celebrate Mary and the Rosary.  If you aren’t Catholic, or you might want to be or even if you just are curious as to what in the world I am talking about, you can Google more info on this or even check this link for more information; and in a week or so, one of my favorite podcasters, Pat Gohn will be featuring Rosary stories on her podcast, Among Women.  

When Pat was asking for contributions of “What the Rosary means to you…”, I was really kind of surprised at what a HUGE impact Mary and the Rosary have in my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I am FULLY aware that my Faith and trust in Christ have gotten me where I am today, however, when I put it into words, it was pretty apparent that Mary has my back, and has for quite sometime.

The Rosary has been one of my favorite prayers for many years now, probably taking hold of my heart since a “Christ Renews His Parish” retreat 11 years ago.  A great way to focus on Christ’s life as it pertains to my own.

  • On 9-11 I sobbed my way through as my husband and I prayed at the end of the day.
  • During EVERY 7 hour trip to and from visiting my husband in prison.
  • For every 45 minute commute to work/school the first year of his incarceration.
  • Sunday evening family Rosary time with the kids–even amidst the squabbling, wrestling, exhaustion and mayhem 4 kids can create during “prayer” time, by the 3rd decade we almost always hit our peaceful stride.
  • During Lenten Adoration time.  A time when I put away MY concerns and focus on others…..though I do my best throughout the year, during Lent I am FAR more consistent…but don’t worry….if you ask me to pray for you, I’m ON it!!
  • When our 2nd oldest struggled with night terrors at age 10 (terrifying for ME, especially when he hopped on the couch on his haunches and stuck his tongue out!), at the suggestion of a friend who had similar experiences with one of her sons, he began to sleep with his Rosary; we put the Rosary on his iPod and 2 years later he and his brother fall asleep with it almost nightly; not to mention the terrors ended almost immediately when introducing the Rosary on “repeat” all night long.
  • With our youngest child and “diva” at bedtime–our most NOT favorite time, but improving with Mary’s help, we’ve had a great run several nights in a row!
  •  And now with my husband home, and our family re-united,  we work toward establishing our new Rosary routine!

We have Rosaries in the car, my purse, the kid’s rooms and several in a desk (see picture above).  So anytime you want to pray the Rosary, come on over…we’ve got plenty!!  Now if  you’ll excuse me, my procrastinating self has a lot to do in the next 45 minutes to get ready to get out-of-town on a girl’s weekend!

Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


Where’s the manual???

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There are very few jobs where you can just wing it day-by-day.  If I were to do that at my job, (make it up as I went along) I’d be calling a lot of patients back for repeat studies, additional radiation (and TRUST me, we get grilled on CT radiation dose many times a week due to all the media reports in the last couple of years) angry doctors on the referring end as well as the reviewing end (i.e. my bosses).  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t last a week, much less a day or two depending on which bosses I was working with that day.  With 4 kiddos to feed, clothe and entertain (to some degree) and a husband just getting his feet back on the ground after release from prison, this really wouldn’t work so well for our family.  So, it brings me to wonder, how in the WORLD we are qualified to be parents, and how in the WORLD does this even work!?!?!?

We make a good team, hubby and I, we balance each other out in the parenting department (as well as other departments).  Over the last several years, we have co-parented to the best of our abilities with our “situation”.  I’ve read a TON of books, picked friend’s brains, prayed and agonized over decisions and though I am definitely still “winging it daily”, it comes down to some pretty basic principles.

1.  Do all things in LOVE.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Whether its doing the fifth load of laundry in two days, cooking dinner, helping out with Algebra, spelling tests, reading buddies and a Science project simultaneously for four different grade levels, teaching the benefits of good hygiene, the importance of not slugging your brother “just because” or doling out consequences for poor choices, there is a good way and a not so good way.  Parenting out of frustration, exasperation, fear, fatigue or selfishness is just not going to work, plain and simple.  There’s a lot of backtracking to clean up the debris (and I’ve done it!) and tons of confusion on the kid’s part, as in “what in the world do you expect of me?”; it’s basically back to square ONE!  However, when dealt with in love, love brings clarity, provides security, is honest, is patient and brings consistent peace to the heart….even when that heart is plugging it’s ears, stomping it’s feet and slamming doors, it still squeezes in…kind of like a hamster, those buggers can get in ANYwhere!!

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

2.   Be consistent.

Boy. This is my downfall.  I have really good intentions (and you know what they say about the road paved by good intentions….) however, life and my wishy-washy, need-to-please character seem to weasel their way in and muddy up my sticking power.  This is where hubby is a good balance in our parenting.  He is a Type-A, “say what you mean and mean what you say” kind of guy.  I envy him.  He (at least on the surface) keeps his emotions out of it; he lays out the blueprint of expectations and ramifications (if necessary) and stands back.  Now since the kids have had me on a 24/7 basis and Daddi-O encouraging from the sidelines these past years, it’s been a bit of “culture shock” as we all adapt to this consistency.  We present a united front on parenting, which is GREAT, because the kids know I have an ally, someone who is there to encourage ME to follow through and get on the “mean-what-you-say-say-what-you-mean” train. Though there have been some mutinous reactions, after four months they are coming around.  And so am I.  The one thing I am trying to work on is to use the “We” in directions and not the “dad”….trying to avoid the finger-pointing and copping out.  It’s been tough.  But we are getting there.

3.  Pray.

Since there is no manual. Since this is an improvisational job.  In my morning quiet time I hand it over to God.  These are HIS children. For however long He deems them to be here on earth, He has given them to us to raise up as responsible, kind, loving, sharing people.  To spread His love and message through words and actions.  We are called to lay the foundation.  That is where prayer comes in.  Pray that they hear His message.  Pray that they feel loved by us.  Pray that they will follow that still, quiet voice among the noise and temptations of the world.  Pray for their protection.  Pray for wisdom.  Pray for guidance.  It’s pretty clear why St. Paul exhorts us to “pray without ceasing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17.  We can’t be there 24/7 no matter how hard we try.  He can.  He is.  He always has.  He always will be.

Love.  Consistency.  Prayer.  All else will fall into place.  And if it doesn’t……revert to #3, again and again and again