Jeremiah 29:11:   our family Scripture verse, this verse has sustained me, encouraged me and help me put one foot in front of the other.  This verse is embedded in my email address and my personal and professional signature lines and I have had many people throughout the years thank me and comment on the power of this verse as it has pertained to their own lives.  It is packed with a tremendous message, a message that every one of us needs to hear throughout our lives.

I have lived with the promise of this verse for years.  In good times and in bad.  It was and is my cornerstone of faith, the Holy Spirit speaking to me….over and over and over again, like a Father comforting his daughter.

Friday night before I left for New Hampshire I took my Hubby’s Adoration hour and as I slowly worked through my Lenten bible study (yes, my overachievement knows no limits) the remainder of the Scripture spoke to me.  Loudly.  Clearly.  Over and over and over again, like a Father comforting his daughter.  Listen.  Hear the message in the continuation of Jeremiah’s message.

Jeremiah 29:12-14

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. And listen He does, even when I think He just might not be…..always present, always listening, guiding, guarding and protecting even when I cannot or refuse to see.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  Over and over and over again.  Repeated in Matthew 7:7 in case I missed it in Jeremiah.  

I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” 

Every day.  He does this every day.  Sometimes it is far more obvious, but even in the everyday extraordinary, He brings me back.  Yes, the mountains are tangible and blessedly over-the-top in His magnificent creation, however, every day He shows this to me.  But in the stillness of  the night during Adoration, He makes this crystal and abundantly clear.  And then, He proceeds to show me….over and over and over again.

This summer, due to the Hubs ability to work remotely, our vacation began a little differently.  Hubby and the three youngest “kiddos”, an extra “kiddo” and our dog, left for the Granite State a week ahead of me.  With three drivers and shift rotation they decided to drive straight through.  24 hours.  Fortunately they made this decision without my presence, AKA fretting and freaking.  However, His grace is endless and in His mercy they arrived safe and sound with an additional day to enjoy thanks to adrenaline, excitement and youth!  Nevermind that poor Mama lost a night of sleep checking the GPS and Hail Mary-ing between nap segments.

My week plugged along as usual and not.  Work as usual during the day.  But in the evening…….  Not cooking.   Not cleaning.  And with our oldest son working out of town all week–not talking.   It was a strange and lovely foray into hermit-hood and I was over it by Wednesday.  Also, oddly refreshed.

Friday night I had the 11 o’clock Adoration hour for my Hubby.  I was able to take a short nap and had coffee so I was wide awake.  Until 1:30 a.m.  At which point I had a dream that I missed my 4 a.m. shuttle to the airport.   At 3:15 a.m. I turned my alarm off and the dream ALMOST became a reality as I pulled into the lot with 47 seconds to spare as the driver put my luggage in, closed the door and the other 4 travelers and I were off.  Can you say PHEW!!

Lo, but there was more excitement to be had with 2 hours to kill and a spot staked out 10 feet in front of my gate, I snuggled into my travel pillow and book.  Somewhere around 20 minutes to take-off I decided it would be a good opportunity to use the facilities before boarding and once again ALMOOOOOOOOST missed my travel arrangements.  Somehow missing the boarding call(s) and managed to obliviously and breezily check in just as they shut the doors behind me.

If you know me, you will know this is EXTREMELY out of character Let’s just chalk it up to sleep deprivation and rejoice that what ALMOST was, never was!!

Onward….New Hampshire!!

Above is a true quote at a leadership meeting this week.  One I have used on my kids as they grew up on occasion.  But you know, there’s some truth to it……life has sucky seasons to be sure, but there is a lot of beauty along the way, too!

Did you hear that great thunk of dust falling from the blogosphere?  I’m back.  Not sure how long for………………….but today and tomorrow for sure 🙂

Here I sit on a Sunday afternoon with a completely empty house and for the second time in 2 days I am experiencing a bizarre and unusual quiet, the kind you spend just aimlessly walking around because you aren’t sure what exactly to do.  Although there’s lots I “need” to do, it is often glorious just to sit in the quiet.

be still.

In this crazy life we all live, that is not only a challenge but actually a breath of fresh life if you can manage to force yourself to do it.

The last 6 weeks have been insanely intense and emotional for our family culminating with the happy milestone of a high school graduation.  So the quiet?  It is welcome and also has a way of ripping off the bandaid of stuffed emotions and allowing cathartic tears to soothe the soul.

In April we mourned the unexpected loss of my dear, step-father, Benny after a brief illness.  After completing chemo and radiation therapy for metastatic squamous cell cancer and beginning to get strength and energy back it was a sucker-punch to the gut to lose him so suddenly and our family is still processing and grieving his loss–and in a house of 6, no two grieve the same.

In the meantime, life goes on, right?  We manage Benny’s affairs, plan his celebration of life later this summer, work our day jobs, take end of course exams, replace dying refrigerators, plan summer vacations and prepare for college.  Life doesn’t stop and that is both a blessing and a curse.

Last week we mourned again, this time for my father-in-law, Ike, who also fought an eerily similar cancer battle as  Benny but where Benny’s cancer complications caught us off guard we have been counting the months since Ike’s terminal diagnosis 7 months ago.  Though expected and freely discussed with and without him, I can tell you that the end was no easier than the sudden passing of Benny.  Different but not easier.

On Friday we had a funeral Mass for Ike in the church we married in almost 24 years ago.  While they have undergone some renovations over the years, as we processed down the aisle to our row, my mind played a weird game of flipping to my wedding procession and the current funeral procession.  One walk was a joyous occasion vowing to love in all circumstances and promising to raise our children in the Catholic church–the other walk was melancholy and played like mental slide show of “throwbacks” and present day.  From a shiny happy young couple to a family of 6 filling an entire pew, praying, taking the Eucharist and saying goodbye.

Death does weird shit to your mind.

On Saturday we celebrated our youngest son’s high school graduation.  This senior year has been a blur of busy, a blur of decisions, a blur of the end of childhood and the beginning of adulthood.  We hosted an open house breakfast prior to graduation, noshed on some breakfast deliciousness, snapped some photos, grabbed some hugs and then worked our way to the civic center.  In what is the biggest surprise to all, mama bear shed zero tears.  We listened, clapped and celebrated and somewhere in the “T’s” realized that if we left right then— we could beat the traffic home and you know what?  We did it.  And I give zero cares about judging, because we already took the pictures!!  If you saw the traffic yesterday due to 4 graduations back-to-back and the annual “Big Truck weekend” combined with the first sunny Saturday in (what felt like) 10 years, you would recognize the fact that we did a public service by cutting out early, therby reducing the traffic gridlock on beachside.  Anywho……this also allowed me precious time alone at home with my new grad (who lucked out after graduation and scored a quick exit and record time getting home) as my entire family went their separate ways and he had time to decompress before heading to his friend’s party.  And you know sometimes, when the dust settles and the adrenaline subsides–THEN the tears come: sad, happy, relief, uncertainty, remembering our loved ones and looking to the future and it is a blessing.

Saturday evening I spent celebrating Mother’s Day and May birthdays with my mom and sister and we laughed and cried and reminisced and ate and drank and shopped and it was a gift.  A beautiful end to a bittersweet weekend.

This life has turned out nothing like I expected in my 24 year old imagination as I walked down that aisle and I am so grateful for that.

Peace.

Read it at Catholic Mom today.

Peace!

Joining up with Kelly and the gang for 7 Quick Takes in the first time in forevahhhh.

This morning I had friends on my mind, having had a great chat with a girlfriend last night and looking forward to a friend’s new baby this weekend and cheering on a friend with a serious injury and I realized that I have learned so MUCH from my friends (my mom and sister included) about being a mom that maybe some of my “mom hacks” would be as useful and life-saving and/or fun for other moms.  Here are 7 although I got a slew and I’m sure you do, too!!

1.  Peanut butter and jelly.  A staple.  Unless you have a kiddo with a nut allergy, skip this one.  Peanut butter BOTH pieces of bread and the jelly won’t leak through.  This was an elementary school lunch life saver!!  And……a two-fer here…….Perfect steamed broccoli.  3 minutes.  Perfect consistency and a pretty much a weekly staple that everyone eats.  Antioxidants for the win!
2. Sheets.  Spend the money on the good sheets and everyone has ONE set of sheets.  You wash them weekly or whatever your schedule is and put them back on the bed, no folding and no space hogging.  (now we do  have a second set of flannels because come winter, I do love me some flannels)  Frees up all kinds of space in your linen closet and really how many sets of sheets do you need?  This absolutely excludes babies and potty training kids because they need an exponential number of sheets!!!
3. Give your kids chores.  Give them a variety and give them young.  Think life skills.  And……this is the hard part…..don’t go behind them to make it perfect.  Good enough is good enough.  They will improve in time.  Frees up YOUR time and they can now clean their own toilets, showers, wash, dry, fold and put away laundry, dust, dishes…the list goes on.  Trust me.  This is GOLD!!!  now, from time to time, I will just do the chores and give them a “break”….this ensures my own OCD clean sanity and they still know how to perform what is necessary.
4. Teach your kids to cook.  This is one I slack on to be honest, but I will say all of my kids have a basic cooking skill set and I believe it is enough to keep themselves alive and relatively healthy in college.  I enjoy cooking, but in a pinch it is great to walk the kids through getting dinner started if I’ll be home late for dinner knowing we won’t be eating dinner at 9 p.m.
5. Make time for yourself.  Whatever that is.  Knitting.  Reading.  Art.  Beach time.  Rest and relaxation is crucial in life to recharge and enjoy more out of the routine days.  It’s the one I most struggle with, but I do make the effort and some seasons it comes easier than others and it is always worth it.  So keep plugging away, mama!
6. Friend circles.  Make ’em.  Keep ’em.  They are oxygen.  They will give you the best, tried-and-true recipes you’ll use for life.  They will be your shoulder, your mentor, your mentee, your sanity.  Friends take work.  Some people are better at working it, but every friend is worth it.  Text.  Call.  Visit.  Fly, drive, walk.  Whatever.  Your tribe, your ninjas, your people.  They are the spice of life.
7. Books.  You do not need to finish a crappy book.  Ever.  Life is too short and there are too many good books to be read.  So download Goodreads and keep track of all the “to-reads” for when you pick up that stinker and move on.

Peace out  and happy weekend!!