To each his own

We have just come off of graduation season.  And we have made it through our first of 4 (God willing!) in the next few years.  I have to tell you.  It did not look like I thought it would.  While I struggled with this in the beginning, as I processed it and opened my eyes to what was happening,  I was able to embrace it.  Slowly, I was actually able to relax in this and chuckle in the reality that our plans must be so much entertainment for God.    When we do actually step back and look at the big picture, sometimes we get a little better idea of living the plan God has in mind for us rather than struggle to keep our own agenda alive.

In these 18 (almost 19) years of parenting, I am CONSTANTLY amazed at the differences in each of our children.  There are similarities to be sure, but the differences between the kids and between us as parents has me always trying to readjust my view of life based on our kid’s perception, my husband’s perception and we ALL have a different outlook.  Isn’t that the way it is in life?  So why does this frequently catch me off guard in my own family?  The struggle of being human is real, I tell you!

Any time I am able to detach my will from any given situation it’s crazy what I can learn.  Things that I view as important to take care of RIGHT!  NOW?  Not always the case.  Emotions and hormonal struggles of the teen life?   Those require a stepping back and dusting off the brain recall of that truly tough transition in life from little kid to big kid.  Raising up humans is constant motion, assess, re-assess and alter course.  There is no black or white.  That is the constant reminder to myself; we are all different and there are many, many ways to live this life.

Bearing all this in mind, when I am able to reconcile these truths the reality is that when your kiddo has a different view on school and finishes 6 months early, graduation holds no interest for him.  Appeasing his mother for graduation pictures for announcements is a compromise.  The time to sit in graduation ceremonies will come and will come on multiple occasions but for now we sit back and watch this kid grow into a young man on a path that I never would have even imagined and  yet it just feels right for him.  Once I put my own agenda down and allowed God to take control (I’m always playing tug of war with control), my eyes were opened to yet another path and truth that God truly does have this.  These little humans are HIS.  On loan to us.  And HE does a WAY better job of taking care of them than I ever could.  And THAT is awesome.

So, Jesus, I trust in you.  Take the wheel.  I’ll try not to take it back , but we both know I will.  So have patience with me and I will continue to work on that, too.

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