Category Archives: Kids

Away at All-State: Fun, Fotos and Friends

this kid RARELY takes a regular picture. Here’s his Mr. Serious pose.

A few months back we found out our son qualified for the All-State Middle School Honors band. Quite the accomplishment for this French Horn player who is on his third year of playing. The boy is disciplined and driven and when he sets his sights on a goal…stand back and watch. It’s pretty awesome. Anyhoooo….fast forward through a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas season and two days back in school and then Vroom, we are off. All the way across the state (only 2 1/2 hours thankfully!). Here’s how it all went down.

Wednesday: I worked a 1/2 day so that I could get packed and ready and we could leave after school got out. That meant I was able to use my 6 month old mani-pedi gift from the Hubs and THEN start packing! For the win!! Enjoyed a nice lunch with the Hubs, picked up the kiddos packed myself and helped our EXTREMELY excited and hyper 14-year-old and we hit the road. We stayed at my friend’s outside of Tampa. We used to work together back in the day, pre-kids and have a few crazy stories behind us. She and her family were so very gracious considering it was a school/work night for them and we stayed up WAY too late for both of us trying to cram in the last couple of years of catch up into a few hours but it was so very worth it. She’s a crazy hot mess of extrovert and Type A to the MAX (some of my very besties fall in this category….they balance my TypeB/C/D) and it is like being in an alternate universe when I’m with her and fully entertaining, enjoyable, comfortable and awesome. Great way to start off our weekend!

Thursday: We hit the road with PLENTY of extra time (in my suburban brain) for Tampa “city” traffic and made it to check-in/warm-ups well within the window (10 minutes to spare). The boy took his time, was the last to go in the reseating audition and…….the kid got FIRST CHAIR. Un-FREAKIN-believable. I still get a big ole lump in my throat when I remember the most gigantic hug and gratitude he expressed when we got here to his dad and I. And then he gets FIRST CHAIR. You guys. Just. Wow. The enjoyment in seeing his hard work paying off in such a tremendous way and the joy he experienced in that moment is heart-bursting-over-flowing-this-is-what-its-all-about.

Upon getting him settled into a 4 hour rehearsal, I was then free to explore. In clogs and inclement weather. Where better to do that but a bookstore. Oxford Exchange. And with one of my besties and former neighbor from Tally. A taste of heaven, people. A taste of heaven.

Tea time. Lovely bookstore. Awesome friend. Heaven.

Post-rehearsals the mad dash for dinner was beyond crazy. We opted for a pre-made sub at CVS and hit the room for some down time before his 2 hour rehearsal from 7-9p.m. This kid will have no lips left after this weekend. Sleep was most fabulous, I’ll tell you.

Resting these pups after a day of walking. To and fro in clogs. (not made for walking)

Friday: 6 a.m. forced us out of bed so that we could grab some grub ahead of the masses (40,000 people in town for this conference). Most awesome move, ever. No crowds. Yummy food. (neither of us could eat it all, but I DID finish that coffee mug!).

Holy….who EATS all that?!?!?!

More rehearsal for him and I get to spend time with another friend and then did a little scrapbook shopping and thrift shop exploring with my other friend. Sadly, not only could we not figure a way to bring home a most amazing velour chaise for $50, a migraine crept up on me and delayed our plans a bit for the evening. However, somehow I rallied and we were able to enjoy the All-State Middle school and High school jazz concert. Phenom!

This girl: friends for almost 30 years. Sweetest thing ever. I have no idea what I am looking at though.

Saturday was a whirlwind of checkout, rehearsal and prep for the concert. Truly impressive how well these kids pulled it together after two days of practices together with a new conductor. The hour-long concert went far too quickly. The drive home was blessedly traffic-drama-free as our boy decompressed from a wild ride of hard work, accolades and new friends. We were both glad to be home and the Hubs and other kids got along just fine without us, even enjoying a lunch on the river Saturday. Life is good, friends. Life is good.

Silly faces=universal
Fun friends at All-State.

Next weekend, we get to do it again as the kids and I trek it to Savannah to visit with my mom and her husband! Woot, woot! More pictures to come and any recommended sites, restaurants, etc are more than welcome in the combox!! So bring it!

Early morning walk in the park

Snapchat and all that

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I had a few different friends post a recent article on Snapchat and the dangers it poses; you can read the article HERE. I also saw a recent similar article on Catholicmom. (The actual article escapes me, but they regularly have great updated “app” articles to keep me in the loop and are my GO-TO source on all apps and tech stuff). Articles such as these wake me in the middle of the night filled with fear, anxiety and dread. Paralyzing dread and all-kinds of wild, fear-based planning to keep my children cocooned and protected from every hidden danger ever known or unknown. Makes for a super restful sleep. Not.

However, we must LIVE our life. Pray without ceasing and learn from our mistakes and move on to live another day. We must teach our children to do the same thing. No easy task in this day and age of insta-everything with no youthful mistake or regret left undocumented (to which I say daily “Thank you, JESUS, that we did not have the internet when WE were growing up”).

In this techno age there will always be a Snapchat. As soon as we parents catch on and log in, there’s a new app that’s hot and drawing the kids in by droves. We can uninstall, remove tech devices, forbid cable, internet usage, friends, etc, etc, etc. To what extent though? What choices are we left with? We have to do something and whatever we do will have a result, good, bad or ugly. We, as parents, can choose avoidance or we can face it head on. Don’t hide your head in the sand; choose to put on your gear and prepare for battle: protect your children through education and preparation. Agree or disagree or take it with a grain of salt, here’s our approach:

Lead by example. Kids learn by mimicking us. I only need to listen in on a disagreement between kids to hear how I REALLY need to work on my intonation and patience with them. It ain’t pretty. Same goes for tech stuff. If your face is constantly on your phone and every text, status update and ‘Gram is a lead-in for most conversations it might be time to step back. Let me introduce you to the “silent” feature on your phone and/or removing social apps or scaling back. Phone free dinners are mandatory in our house and so is participation in daily “highs and lows”. Sometimes it’s all we can do to get through dinner without a free for all, but expectations are there and are observed.

Knowledge is power and as parents we are called (like it or not) to be abreast of this technology, so dig in and find a few websites to regularly check in and learn about apps and how to navigate them. And for the love of Pete, find a spot to put down all your usernames and passwords, because these apps are like rabbits…the more there are…the more there are.

Communication is key. Regular conversations about life, plugged and un-plugged are key. We don’t home school (and I applaud ALL who can and do) and as a result our kids are privy to a WIDE variety of people, lifestyles and situations in their public schools, friendships and extracurricular activities. Much is cringe-worthy and the teach-able moments are never-ending, however, my personal approach continues to evolve from lecture giver to observer and navigational assistant in managing these moments. A constant work in progress, I assure you. (Hubby is often far more about keeping it simple in explanations: truthful but short and sweet). It’s getting easier for me though and when our 10yo daughter is trying to explain the friendship she has with a sweet boy as a “friend with advantages”, I quickly correct here to the correct phrase of “friends with benefits” and explain that since that means a friend who you have sex with and no special relationship and that is ABSOLUTELY NOT the way to describe THIS friendship, she is at once shocked and understands that sometimes we all need clarification. (In truth, this boy is a friend, who happens to be a boy, that she can talk with like her girlfriends and at 10 it’s such a unique phenomenon she isn’t sure how to classify him. I let her know that “friend” is purely acceptable and applicable.) Would you not be so blunt? Perhaps not. However, I am all about honesty and saying it like it is; beating around the bush is just crap.

Participation and being present. I personally struggle with this in our daily busy-ness. We both work full-time, our kids are in school all day, our oldest works, we have a variety of kid activities, church, etc. It’s busy, from morning coffee to passing out after evening prayers. The importance of chatting about our day (mentioned above during dinner) and addressing any concerns or just planning out dreams and enjoying newfound passions are crucial to a kid’s security and growth. It doesn’t take a whole evening, but a few FOCUSED minutes on a kid speaks volumes for days. You don’t need to look much further than any number of crash and burn famous kid moments (or maybe even some you know personally) to see the link between parent and kiddo is nonexistent or shaky at best.

After a long-story-short, my summary is this:

1. Set the example. Modify Ghandi’s quote to fit your family and “BE the change you want to see in your children/marriage/family”.

2. Stay informed. Be aware. Learn the trends. If we are all about it, it loses its luster and excitement and the shock/thrill loses its power.

3. Talk. Talk. Talk. And then talk some more. Communication is key in marriage, parenting and life and it is CONSTANT.

4. Be present. Listen. Ask. Listen. Learn.

Bottom line is, they are kids. They are navigating childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. They will screw up 1000 times over and they need us present to help them untangle those unfortunate moments of growing up. We can hope they will avoid the bullying, sexting and variety of other fears we know lurk daily and we will do the best we can to protect them. At the end of the day, the education we can provide for them in the school of life is the best chance they have.

Isaiah 41:10

‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
            Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
            I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
            Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

My Christmas gift to you: saving money, scoring deals

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When my Hubs reads this he’s going to be all kinds of “you go, girl” and “preach, sister” because he LOVES when we opt for the thrift stores for some shopping time versus Kohl’s, Target and the dreaded Mall. So far, our kids are all about it as well, although our non-shopper kid prefers eBay as his mode of picking and choosing….which is alright by me. Not to say we don’t hit the aforementioned retailers from time to time, however, with 4 kiddos it’s really the best budget saver for us and we have had some amazing luck! Truly. I thought since it’s the 4th day of Christmas (depending on which tradition you go with) I’d give you 4 tips I’ve found useful in thrifting:

First, you need to get over the fact that they are previously owned and/or worn. Once I got over the pride-factor, I realized EVERYONE gets bored with their wardrobe or grows out of it and there is some great stuff out there. Barely worn, tags on, it’s out there. (BTW, if you’re clearing out your closet and think you might have some good stuff my size, I’ll be happy to take it off your hands. Wink, wink!)

Second, take your time. If you’re in a hurry it will be overwhelming and frustrating. We only go when we’ve got nothing going on so we aren’t rushed.

Third, find some good thrift stores. We’ve tried several and have narrowed it down to about 3 favorites with 2 others we check from time to time.

Fourth, go with a list. For me, it helps to keep me from being overwhelmed if I’m looking for a specific item rather than getting sucked in by the pure volume of the stores.

Lastly, think of this as #5 if you want to consider this the 5th day of Christmas, online consignment. Then you can still shop, pay FAR less and stay in your PJs.

In fact, today we checked out ThredUp for some denim jackets (which have been a non-find in the local thrift arena of late) and we checked out with 2 dresses and a denim jacket for $9.58. Read it again. 3 items. UNDER $10. I know you are reading that and doing the math and saying, “Tracy, you are a big fat liar”. Well, it IS post-Christmas and I have partaken of the goods, but liar…I am not. Here’s the breakdown:

NY&Co Dress, Limited Dress, Gap Denim Jacket: $26.47

Minus $7.67 credit (from previously sent in items as an experiment)

Free Shipping and 35% off

Total: $9.58

So, if you want to add some pieces to your wardrobe, are having a tough time finding a particular item or are just plain in the mood to shop on the cheap, join the thrifting arena OR check out ThredUp. I’ve included the link for $10 off your first order below AND another coupon code good through 12/31/13 from Retailmenot if you’ve already shopped and just want some free shipping and 35%off…or maybe you can use them together, I’m not sure on that one. So…there you go folks, enjoy and make good on that resolution to save more money in 2014. Good luck and happy shopping!

Thred up: http://www.thredup.com/r/KDCCV9

Retail me not: http://www.retailmenot.com/s/thred+up?c=5087803

7 Christmas QTs

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Linking up at Jen’s Blog today so that she has some reading material while she is under the weather. Moms really aren’t allowed to get sick, so I am always baffled when we do. Baffled.

Hoping Christmas was lovely for you and if not perfect, hopefully you found some moments to hold tight to….like I did. Ours was a great Christmas, however, for the first time in our family, I felt a shift. The shift of teens in the house and only 1 of 4 still blessedly smitten with Santa, the Elf and the whole shabang. It was subtle, but it was there. Compound “the shift” with having done our family dinner with the in-laws on Christmas Eve and grandparents and step-dad having come and gone after breakfast, mom and sis out of town, and zero plans for anything EXCEPT relaxing and enjoying the day……I was in a constant state of post-Advent Zombie-ness (if there is such a thing). Aimless. Lost. Shuffling. A month of bustling and scurrying to and fro to a sudden halt……what does one DO with that? I mean, WTH?!?!? Clearly a 2014 goal needs to be getting comfortable with relaxation and learning to embrace that idea. Anyhoo, it WAS lovely…Advent was wonderful and we are so very blessed to be together and loved and healthy and happy; there is nothing to complain about, because it’s ALL good.

Traditiona Pioneer Woman cinnamon rolls for breakfast. So flippin' delish!

Traditional Pioneer Woman cinnamon rolls for breakfast. So flippin’ delish!

Our tree. Pre-present carnage. Simply the best morning light, I’m not sure what I will do after our tree is down….it’s an essential part of my morning coffee and Daily Readings.

The Hubs on video, videoing me taking a picture of him.

This kid. 16 and questioning everything, BUT….he opted for Midnight Mass with his brother and I versus 11 a.m. Christmas Mass with Dad and the girls. MM wore us all out. He and the cat caught a few winks after presents. Smart kid.

Next year she will be in Middle school. THIS year she put Zebra cakes on her list for Santa and he came through. That will never happen again. 10 is an awesome age, is it not?

Headbanz. Christmas games and camaraderie. Love these moments.

When I don’t have anyone coming for dinner, I don’t focus. I misread the brisket times and well…..Christmas dinner was scrambled eggs and toast and PIE! Christmas dinner was served on the 26th and a total winner. Worth the wait. We’ll call it a win, even though it was a day late!

That wraps it up for today. As usual, I am going to be rushing to get out the door in time for work, so enjoy the day!! P.S. for those of you without cable, may I suggest Chromecast? The Hubs got it figured out yesterday and SO. COOL.

Blessings!!

#Affluenza: are you kidding me?

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It seems we’ve come to a whole new low in society, the final fruit of a generation of spoiled children and parents who (it would seem) have failed to set boundaries and actually parent their offspring.

If you aren’t familiar with the story of Ethan Couch in Texas and his attorney’s outrageously SUCCESSFUL plea of Affluenza as a defense in his drunk driving that left FOUR people dead, by all means click HERE or do your own Googling, there’s plenty of fodder. The gist of the story, as I see it, is that there are a group of young people (and for the minute, let’s leave affluence out of this) that steal beer, get drunk, drive and wind up killing 4 people and left 2 with serious injuries. This week the judge in the case sentenced Ethan to 10 years probation and a long-term treatment facility and NO JAIL TIME. Just chew on that a minute. It’s like grizzle, you simply cannot swallow that.

Parents, we have a DUTY to parent our children. Perhaps no one told us,or maybe we just weren’t listening/believing, but the sad fact is that parenting is the hardest flippin’ job EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR. From the time our sweet and precious bundle crosses the threshold of placenta to oxygen it is Game On. No joke. Sleepless nights and sleep-deprived parenting, potty training and 2-year-old defiance parenting, sibling rivalry and sharing parenting, school days and friendship parenting, tween angst and teen independence parenting, college life and young adult parenting and then…..then….then…..we can be friends. First we must parent. That, folks, is a marathon, so best fuel up!!!

Parenting means loving those kids and setting boundaries. Let’s clarify:

bound·a·ry

ˈbound(ə)rē/

noun

plural noun: boundaries

a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

Failure to set those boundaries leads to confusion when our kids are trying to figure it out for themselves. I’m not advocating helicopter parenting, however, I AM all for setting up expectations and explanations of WHY we set limits and the consequences and following through. The follow through is the hardest part and the most crucial, otherwise, where is the lesson learned? And lo, there are MANY, MANY lessons to be learned, and some a few times before the lesson is mastered.

Currently, our 8th grader has had a semester of slacking to the max in his math class. Now, it IS an 11th grade math class and we don’t expect an “A”; we DO expect effort. The effort has been lacking to the tune of a D/F which has resulted in some pretty uncomfortable consequences. Those consequences have resulted in 1)renewed focus, 2)more attentive and interactive child, 3)renewed vigor on task, 4)completed assignments, 5)increased understanding, 6) D/F to a C and 7)mature and tremendous communication among us and our son. It’s a challenge and sadly, we’ve done this last year and apparently we have short-term memory in this house at times and need to repeat lessons, however, as seen with our 10th grader….they DO learn, apply and adjust with much fruit to be shown. Like I said earlier, it’s flippin’ hard; parenting is hard.

In the words of Nike, JUST DO IT. and then do it again. and again. and again.

Otherwise, we will have more BS “Affluenza” nonsense diagnoses to deal with rather than just calling a spade a spade. If you mess up, there are consequences and if you REALLY mess up….there are REAL consequences.

Ethan (like MANY before him) made a terrible and tragic choice that dealt consequences that he will deal with mentally for the rest of his life. Sadly, his consequences aren’t much different from the coddling that led to his poor choices. Mamas and Papas, come on, let us ALL buckle down and hold our kids accountable for the choices they make, because Lord knows the mess we are in for when we don’t.

Galations 6:7-9

⁷Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.⁸For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. ⁹Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

making the trek

Trekking through life: Faith, family, friends and a whole lot of coffee!