The fork in the road

Hello there!!!! It has been a minute, hasn’t it? In fact, it’s been so long that WordPress has had some updates and I am still figuring it out. Fortunately, it appears pretty straightforward so if you are reading this….you’ll know I was successful in my efforts!

Where to start? You’d think with the international health issues of the past two years, I’d have plenty of time to write with all the “quarantining”. Except….I changed jobs in 2019 to a Director of Operations position. This was, my “dream job” (which I had aspired to for years) with a company that I loved, working with people that I KNEW and liked, an industry that I was confident in—what a rush! But how did I get there?!?!

After 20+ years of clinical work, I finished my bachelor’s degree—while working full time and raising 4 young kids. All I can say about that is, “kids, finish while you’re young! Going back later isn’t for the faint of heart!” I decided my life and clinical expertise would be conducive in a leadership role, so I put my head down and got to work. This took roughly 5 years, a step “down” for the opportunity to go “up” and M.A.N.Y. “learning opportunities“ to reach my goal, but I did it and grabbed that golden ring. I stepped so far out of my comfort zone throughout the different roles I took and it turns out…….. I didn’t really enjoy my “dream job”. Don’t get me wrong, there were certainly aspects of it that I did enjoy and thrived on learning so much, but life is too short to be available 24/7.

The time commitment was one of many aspects that I struggled with—finding the ever elusive “work/life balance”. My main struggle was internal—-I really felt that God led me into this space and for the first time in my professional life, I didn’t shine. Don’t get me wrong, the first 18-21 months I did well, but the last 3 months—-crash and burn. There’s a lot more to it, but it boiled down to communication on many sides and the accumulation of responsibilities coupled with the feeling I had to do it all and refused to delegate. It was at that point that I realized (and maybe THIS is what God was showing me) that life is too short and we need to recognize when to move on and take our lessons with us, trusting His plan will find a home for it all in due time.

I was able to transition into a newly created position which was wildly productive and lucrative for our company and I learned a ton—-if you could imagine drinking through a fire hose—that would be a fairly accurate description of my learning curve. Despite my success, sitting in an office crunching spreadsheets began to feel like a filler job, not MY job (but someone else’s). During this time, our family took a vacation to our favorite spot, New Hampshire. Lots of fresh air, great hikes, stars showing off at midnight and a strong sense of peace. THIS is where I (we) are supposed to be. Discussing this on a hike with the Hubs, the confidence of THIS was deep in my soul. Details such as how, when, what were irrelevant; I knew God would reveal them in due time.

And so the prayers began.

to be continued…..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s