Category Archives: Faith

Mary is MY Homegirl….or Love me some Rosary!!

2 Replies

October.  And if you are Catholic, like me, you may know it’s the month we celebrate Mary and the Rosary.  If you aren’t Catholic, or you might want to be or even if you just are curious as to what in the world I am talking about, you can Google more info on this or even check this link for more information; and in a week or so, one of my favorite podcasters, Pat Gohn will be featuring Rosary stories on her podcast, Among Women.  

When Pat was asking for contributions of “What the Rosary means to you…”, I was really kind of surprised at what a HUGE impact Mary and the Rosary have in my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I am FULLY aware that my Faith and trust in Christ have gotten me where I am today, however, when I put it into words, it was pretty apparent that Mary has my back, and has for quite sometime.

The Rosary has been one of my favorite prayers for many years now, probably taking hold of my heart since a “Christ Renews His Parish” retreat 11 years ago.  A great way to focus on Christ’s life as it pertains to my own.

  • On 9-11 I sobbed my way through as my husband and I prayed at the end of the day.
  • During EVERY 7 hour trip to and from visiting my husband in prison.
  • For every 45 minute commute to work/school the first year of his incarceration.
  • Sunday evening family Rosary time with the kids–even amidst the squabbling, wrestling, exhaustion and mayhem 4 kids can create during “prayer” time, by the 3rd decade we almost always hit our peaceful stride.
  • During Lenten Adoration time.  A time when I put away MY concerns and focus on others…..though I do my best throughout the year, during Lent I am FAR more consistent…but don’t worry….if you ask me to pray for you, I’m ON it!!
  • When our 2nd oldest struggled with night terrors at age 10 (terrifying for ME, especially when he hopped on the couch on his haunches and stuck his tongue out!), at the suggestion of a friend who had similar experiences with one of her sons, he began to sleep with his Rosary; we put the Rosary on his iPod and 2 years later he and his brother fall asleep with it almost nightly; not to mention the terrors ended almost immediately when introducing the Rosary on “repeat” all night long.
  • With our youngest child and “diva” at bedtime–our most NOT favorite time, but improving with Mary’s help, we’ve had a great run several nights in a row!
  •  And now with my husband home, and our family re-united,  we work toward establishing our new Rosary routine!

We have Rosaries in the car, my purse, the kid’s rooms and several in a desk (see picture above).  So anytime you want to pray the Rosary, come on over…we’ve got plenty!!  Now if  you’ll excuse me, my procrastinating self has a lot to do in the next 45 minutes to get ready to get out-of-town on a girl’s weekend!

Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


Ebbs and flows…the rhythm of marriage…

1 Reply

Recently, a good friend of mine got married.  Vegas, baby.  They did plan the wedding, though she jokes it was touch and go for a bit.  After a long courtship and a long engagement, I am so incredibly happy for them in this next chapter. Today she was telling a funny story about a little “incident” that occurred after they were home and settling in and his response was, “Baby?  Is that how it’s going to be now?  We’re married, so that’s it?”  We all had quite a hearty laugh at this because, on some level, things DO change and we all know this….usually it takes longer than two days though….

The good news is that my friend’s husband COMMUNICATED this to her, right off the bat.  So, I’m thinking this is a good start.  And with divorce rates at the 50%ish mark, I’m sure any divorce attorney can assure you a common thread in any dissolution of marriage is loss of communication.

I see it in my own marriage.  How easy it is to get out of the habit of communication.  The week goes by, 4 kids with various amounts of homework, chores and responsibilities, taxi-ing here and there to extracurriculars and hanging with friends, dinner, breakfast, laundry and throw in work, bills and raising up these 4 kiddos for mom and dad and a week can go by in a flash with the most riveting conversation revolving around the garbage delivery.  Communication is vital and not just about the garbage.  But to keep in touch.  To assess our needs, wants, desires.  To stand united as parents.  To stand united. “where two or more are gathered together in my name, I am there with them.” Matthew 18:20

I see it in my friend’s marriage.  We have all of the same day-to-day business revolving around large, growing families and then add in:  A recession that has rocked their standard of living from super-comfy to basic needs vs. wants.   A struggling business.  Property loss.  A house full of precious children.  The stress-o-meter has just rocketed UP several notches….Communication is vital, to plan the recovery.  To stay abreast of what is and isn’t happening.  To be a team.  To face each day united, because “where two or more are gathered together in my name, I am there with them.” Matthew 18:20

 

I see it in another friend’s marriage.  Again, all of the same day-to-day business of a large family with full-time parents and now add in a child who is valiantly fighting Ewing’s sarcoma, a very aggressive form of cancer.  Bi-weekly travel two hours from home for chemo treatments, blood transfusions, balancing work, school and life for the rest of the family trying to adapt to their new “normal” as they band together through this extremely scary time.  The stress-o-meter is SMOKING!!  They are amazingly brave and godly people who are facing this with their faith in God’s hands, with their son in God’s hands and I pray they will continue to communicate with each other and witness to God’s glory in their marriage and family throughout this uber-stressful time…. “where two or more are gathered together in my name, I am there with them.” Matthew 18:20

I see it in my friend who is recovering day by day to her new life as a single woman as her marriage has dissolved before her eyes as her husband communicated his desire to spend it with someone else.  only after she came across texts.  there was no communication.  there was no couple gathered in His name.

He wants our marriages to succeed.  evil does not.  He gives us all the tools to bless each other and strengthen our marriages.  evil provides the vices to destroy each other and our marriages all the while oblivious to the damage until it’s too late.  He gives us forgiveness and love to move  past hurts and to grow stronger through trials.  evil gives us bitterness, resentment and scorecards to keep track of who did what.  He gives us his Son, in whom:  ““where two or more are gathered together in my name, I am there with them.” Matthew 18:20  

evil runs screaming at Jesus’ name.

How will you choose to communicate?

 

 

 

Where’s the manual???

Leave a reply

There are very few jobs where you can just wing it day-by-day.  If I were to do that at my job, (make it up as I went along) I’d be calling a lot of patients back for repeat studies, additional radiation (and TRUST me, we get grilled on CT radiation dose many times a week due to all the media reports in the last couple of years) angry doctors on the referring end as well as the reviewing end (i.e. my bosses).  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t last a week, much less a day or two depending on which bosses I was working with that day.  With 4 kiddos to feed, clothe and entertain (to some degree) and a husband just getting his feet back on the ground after release from prison, this really wouldn’t work so well for our family.  So, it brings me to wonder, how in the WORLD we are qualified to be parents, and how in the WORLD does this even work!?!?!?

We make a good team, hubby and I, we balance each other out in the parenting department (as well as other departments).  Over the last several years, we have co-parented to the best of our abilities with our “situation”.  I’ve read a TON of books, picked friend’s brains, prayed and agonized over decisions and though I am definitely still “winging it daily”, it comes down to some pretty basic principles.

1.  Do all things in LOVE.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Whether its doing the fifth load of laundry in two days, cooking dinner, helping out with Algebra, spelling tests, reading buddies and a Science project simultaneously for four different grade levels, teaching the benefits of good hygiene, the importance of not slugging your brother “just because” or doling out consequences for poor choices, there is a good way and a not so good way.  Parenting out of frustration, exasperation, fear, fatigue or selfishness is just not going to work, plain and simple.  There’s a lot of backtracking to clean up the debris (and I’ve done it!) and tons of confusion on the kid’s part, as in “what in the world do you expect of me?”; it’s basically back to square ONE!  However, when dealt with in love, love brings clarity, provides security, is honest, is patient and brings consistent peace to the heart….even when that heart is plugging it’s ears, stomping it’s feet and slamming doors, it still squeezes in…kind of like a hamster, those buggers can get in ANYwhere!!

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

2.   Be consistent.

Boy. This is my downfall.  I have really good intentions (and you know what they say about the road paved by good intentions….) however, life and my wishy-washy, need-to-please character seem to weasel their way in and muddy up my sticking power.  This is where hubby is a good balance in our parenting.  He is a Type-A, “say what you mean and mean what you say” kind of guy.  I envy him.  He (at least on the surface) keeps his emotions out of it; he lays out the blueprint of expectations and ramifications (if necessary) and stands back.  Now since the kids have had me on a 24/7 basis and Daddi-O encouraging from the sidelines these past years, it’s been a bit of “culture shock” as we all adapt to this consistency.  We present a united front on parenting, which is GREAT, because the kids know I have an ally, someone who is there to encourage ME to follow through and get on the “mean-what-you-say-say-what-you-mean” train. Though there have been some mutinous reactions, after four months they are coming around.  And so am I.  The one thing I am trying to work on is to use the “We” in directions and not the “dad”….trying to avoid the finger-pointing and copping out.  It’s been tough.  But we are getting there.

3.  Pray.

Since there is no manual. Since this is an improvisational job.  In my morning quiet time I hand it over to God.  These are HIS children. For however long He deems them to be here on earth, He has given them to us to raise up as responsible, kind, loving, sharing people.  To spread His love and message through words and actions.  We are called to lay the foundation.  That is where prayer comes in.  Pray that they hear His message.  Pray that they feel loved by us.  Pray that they will follow that still, quiet voice among the noise and temptations of the world.  Pray for their protection.  Pray for wisdom.  Pray for guidance.  It’s pretty clear why St. Paul exhorts us to “pray without ceasing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17.  We can’t be there 24/7 no matter how hard we try.  He can.  He is.  He always has.  He always will be.

Love.  Consistency.  Prayer.  All else will fall into place.  And if it doesn’t……revert to #3, again and again and again

Haywire: out of order, out of control

3 Replies

Psalm 32:8  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

Last night was one of THOSE nights.  Stemming from getting out of work late with an end-of-the-day “catastrophe”, a domino effect of EPIC proportions took place.  Long ago my hubby taught me the H.A.L.T. acronym:  Hungry.  Angry.  Lonely.  Tired.  A recipe for destruction.  When these emotions ride together….HALT!!  Now, in a household of 6, I don’t think anyone was lonely, however, the other three were PRESENT and ACCOUNTED FOR and my goodness;  It wasn’t pretty.

The good news is that once dinner was under way and blood sugars stabilized there was a good recovery all around.  Who knew pot roast was such a blanket of comfort?    The unfortunate news is, when these events occur, it takes a toll on hubby and I as we “relive” the events mentally and backtrack trying to pinpoint WHERE we went wrong, WHAT could have been done differently,  and HOW we can regroup.  Essentially, we question our parenting (sometimes wondering WHY God thought we were EVER capable of this job!!!) and that can really take a toll on the heart.

After the dust settles though, the best we can do is……just do our best.  God, in His infinite wisdom, DID gift us with these children.  And even though I often wonder what He was thinking, because surely I can’t be up for THIS job, I know He has prepared me (and my hubby) for this job.  We aren’t perfect.  God KNOWS that.  We misstep daily.  But we ARE doing our best.  We are looking to Him for guidance.  We do our best to fix what’s broken and take a different path when one road fails.  Each day is a learning experience and the learning curve changes with it.  And at the end of the day, if we love our children and each other, He will take care of the rest.  Guiding.  Guarding.  Protecting.  Two steps forward, one step back.  One day at a time.

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.


Rain and other crosses….

2 Replies

Today, Hurricane Irene continues her long, meandering march up the East coast.  While no longer a threat (aside from the insane surf and riptipes @ the beach), it IS a big threat to my mom and other family and friends up north.  So I have been glued to the weather via the TV, my phone, the internet watching, waiting, texting and holding my breath until she passes and/or runs out of steam.  Then the cleanup will begin.  Which is life.  Sometimes we are blessed with the knowlege the UGLY is coming and we have time to prepare and sometimes it hits out of the blue.  Either way, there is ALWAYS cleanup behind the squall lines.  

We all have our crosses to bear.  For some it may be hurricane damage and cleanup.  Tornadoes.  Poverty.  Homelessness.  Addiction.  Divorce.  Separation.  Abuse.  Our life on this earth offers us no promises of greatness or unending bliss.  It’s all one day at a time.  Putting one foot in front of the other.  Whether you look at the glass half-full or half-empty, (I’m a half-full kinda gal, myself) either view shapes your life.  For me, I have found that the Truth is:  I can’t go BACK.  I have no idea what lies ahead TOMORROW.  There is only today.  What I do today will directly impact tomorrow. Yet there is no room for worry. 

 Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This verse is in regular use in our home.  Last night, as my husband and I discussed his job prospects (or lack of), our focus to not be overwhelmed by bills and debt to be dug out of, and again this morning as I drove him to one of his jobs (until he finds THE JOB) and he works 7 days straight.  We are thankful.  We are grateful.  We lift our eyes up and Praise God for his daily provisions.  And we know, as long as our eyes and heart are focused on The One who loves the sparrow, He will guide our every step, our every decision and provide our every need.  

Matthew 6:26  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Whether your cross is large or small.  Cleaning up after a hurricane or checking in to rehab.  Praying fervently for your teen’s heart or starting over after divorce.  God has a plan for you.  For me.  It involves a lot of little building blocks.  Patience.  Stepping out in Faith.  Trust in Him.  Nothing in life is easy, but where there is hope, there is love and there is a future. 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.