Category Archives: Faith

Changes. Challenges.

Door challenge

I absolutely won’t be trying this #doorchallenge anytime soon….my aching back just watching these girls get into this position and then reverse and then again. But they did it. And grammed it. Challenge: complete.

My own challenge comes in form of a new job. Sort of. What? Yup. After a decade with the same company and my degree just sitting on its haunches, I happened into a position with the competition (also a far larger organization). While, the initial position is essentially a lateral move, the potential for growth is better and with a large, well-run organization there are countless other benefits.

I can’t explain it, but there is a tremendous sense of peace in this decision both with myself and with the Hubs. The peace, I am certain, lies in the job itself opening to a Full-time position when I wasn’t even looking. Good friends, old friends, who unknown to me at the time, were background cheerleaders to the powers that be before and after my interview. The timing is quick, with little time to second-guess and drag it out. Basically, knock, open, go in. God is in control. Fully. With no doubt. And I’ve been here before, when He opened the door to our house. Sometimes, those prayers of “Please….God….I am dense and thick and need you to make this clear as day”, really DO get answered. Not always right away, not always the way I think I want them to be answered, but it does happen. And it’s just WOW. Really. Wow.

I mean, I know NO one at this office. It’s brand new, Opening day is September 8. My 7 minute drive and 5 mile world just opened up to about a 30-ish minute commute and a 20-something mile world. What. The. Heck. It’s all good though and clearly I’ll have more time for phone calls and podcasts with additional time in the car.

It will be an interesting year ahead and I’m excited to see what lies ahead. It’s time. And I’m up for the challenge! So, here’s hoping I’m hopping from the fire to the pan and not vice versa!

#WIWS, blue eyeliner and more….

Icing on the cake

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Last weekend we celebrated our 20th Anniversary with a vow renewal and gathering afterward…you can see more about that here, but the thing I loved the most was being surrounded by our family and friends. Now. There are some of you reading this that might be sad because you missed it (and it WAS great), BUT this is NOT a slight or rant on you missing it. It was our fortune to be married in June. Who knew that 20 years later June would be the month of finishing school, graduations and the general crazy busy that ends school and begins summer? Who? Not my 24-year-old bride self, that’s for sure. Anyhoo…….as much as we would have LOVED to have each and every one of our family and friends present, it’s just not a reality. Life and all that. That said……

The people who were supposed to be there were. It was a neat gathering. ALL of our kids (and with our 16 yo’s recent crisis of faith–that says a lot). Many of Hubby’s AA friends came, and that is a diverse group of pretty cool people. Truly. We had friends come from church, and for the few friends we have there….that was a nice feeling. Hubby’s parents were there. Probably one of the very few times my father in law made it to church. A continued grace in healing of a strained relationship. My grandparents were there, right up front with us and my grandmother kept her claustrophobia at bay so that they could be on the front lines where they have always been. Fraternity brothers, to which I can never say enough good about this group of guys. Friends from our old city who drove 4 hours for a date weekend; this was an extra special because of the time we were able to spend with them the night before catching up.

My fear of getting up in front of the ENTIRE. 9 A.M. MASS. to renew our vows was real. When Hubs started getting emotional prior to Mass, he almost brought me over the edge (so I had to threaten him with bodily harm and eggplant…he doesn’t like eggplant). During the ceremony, I remembered our priest’s advice and just kept my eyes on Hubs, and the priest. It worked. Thankfully I followed those instructions because toward the end I snuck a peek at the parishioners and holy cow! The looks of love and sweet smiles on their faces. NOW I know why our church opts for this manner of vow renewal. Talk about a witness. I would never have made it had I looked out. Also, the fact that our only response was “I do” rather than repeat the entire wedding vows was a HUGE help. Death by publicly speaking heart-felt vows and all.

The graces were real. The love was real. The friends are real. The icing on the cake.

Now hopefully life will get real and get our friends here throughout the summer for some visitin’!!!

Marriage=Hard

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Anyone remember their Pre-Cana weekend? Classes? Some, all or none? My memory is pretty crapola these days…I blame multitasking, 4 kids and age. Maybe I should do more Sudoku or 20, 40, 8 or whatever that game is. Gingko? Whatever…getting off track here.

I vaguely remember our Pre-Cana meetings with our Priest as more of a checking off of the boxes and looking back I’m certain he probably wanted to forehead smack both of us. We were barely active in the Church and going through the motions, however, clearly the seed was planted because….here we are…20 years later and growing everyday in our Faith, Marriage and family. It’s been a mind-blowing 20 years. To say the least.

The thing is, I don’t remember much about Pre-Cana. I remember a lot of vague, surface discussions. Discussions on the budget and maintaining a joint checking account were the main things I remember, and that’s it. NFP? Not so much. Marriage being hard? Not really. So, whether it is my p.poor memory or my 23 year-old naive self, Pre-Cana didn’t really prepare me or scare me.

I take you to be my lawfully wedded spouse, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I would have loved if we could have taken an in-depth look at those vows:

Lawfully wedded, constant friend. Your spouse comes first. Always and forever. Your best friend. Girlfriends are second and friends come and go as you move through seasons of life. Pick wisely and you will never be lonely.
Faithful partner. There is a reason men and women shouldn’t be alone together if they aren’t married. It’s called a fallen world. Free will. Attractions will happen and we are all human; it takes a lot of effort to go from foot loose and fancy free to hitched forever. It can be overwhelming. Be honest and be sure you are both up for the task and be ready to decide if you can be forgiving if one or both of you fall. It’s a tough and enticing world out there and marriage isn’t a deterrent to some. There’s a reason 50%+ of marriages fail. And infidelity doesn’t always come in the form of a person.
Sickness and health. You will both get sick. You will both need caretaking. Be loving. Be awesome. Be kind. Be thankful you are in this together, because being sick is something no one enjoys. Being a caregiver is no picnic either. You’ll both have a turn, be ready.
Savor and relish the good times and know that bad times will come. Be a team. Fight for each other. Fight for your marriage. Life is a constant change, ebb and flow and the better you work together, the stronger your marriage will be. Dig in.
Love unconditionally. This takes practice. Every day. All day. For life. Staying in love is work. Put in the sweat equity. You’ll reap a harvest far beyond your expectations.
Support each other. Careers change. Dreams evolve. Work it together. Marriage is team work. Be flexible and be each other’s greatest cheerleader. You’ll take risks in your careers and when you do it together the reward is so much sweeter.
Respect each other. Criticize in love and in private. The tongue is a savage beast and those words….well, don’t believe the rhyme…it’s all backwards: words wound. Be respectful always in word and in deed.
Laugh together. Often. Experience life joyfully. It is far too short to be taken so seriously. A huge area of weakness for this bride who, far too often gets caught up in all the “must do’s” and details of life. Laughter is free therapy.
Cry together. Forgiveness is hard. Loss is hard. Change is hard. Life is hard. There will be tears and if nothing else, hold each other through the storm.
Cherish each other. This is your best friend. Your life partner. Your help mate. Your help meet. Your other half. Your better half. Your worse half. Your half.

So maybe Pre-Cana DID cover these…maybe I wasn’t listening….maybe it takes 20 years.

More to come….on marriage and vow renewals….stay tuned! 😉

20 years…let’s do it again!

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I’m still processing a beautiful morning but for my friends and family who couldn’t make it to our 20 year Anniversary Vow Renewal…a few pics.

I have more pics. I have more words. Perhaps later this week. I’ve got lots of words. After 20 years I’ve got LOTS to say on marriage. I’m thinking a little marriage series. Like I said. Processing. For now. You’ve got this.

9 a.m. Mass and BOOM right in the middle….a little vow renewal. In front of God and everyone. Again. Neither of us cried. Neither of us got the usual hysterical nervous giggles. Neither of us passed out. All good. All. Good.

Enjoy!

making the trek

Trekking through life: Faith, family, friends and a whole lot of coffee!