Tag Archives: life

Somehow we end up with a cat…..WTHeck?!?!?!?

For the past two weeks we’ve had an influx of cats in the neighborhood.  We have SEVERAL neighbors who have outside cats and with some new neighbors they apparently brought new cats.  great.  Did I mention I’m not a cat person?  After college, my roommate had two cats and they were pretty cool.  Just did their own deal and once in a while they’d snuggle.  That was it.  No commitment on my part and it was a peaceful coexistence.  Unfortunately, as I’ve gotten older, I have noticed a propensity to sneezing and itchy eyes after prolonged exposure to cats.  Which made it easy to rebuff the kids as they know “Mom is allergic”.  Instead they’ve begged for dogs, rabbits, hamsters…..even fish.  For the last few years I’ve had my hands full enough with kid-business, never mind adding in a pet, regardless of the variety.  Now with Daddi-O home, the requests have doubled.  tripled.  quadrupled.  ugh.  they.  are.  relentless.  I sometimes have to resort to feigning confusion to their requests, not understanding English.  whatever it takes.

And then.  This cat showed up.  Shoo.  Shoo.  Go home, kitty.

The other cats left us alone.  But this one, named Caramel by the little girl who visits the neighbors occasionally, came over, ALL THE TIME .  (Interestingly enough, we asked around and no one claimed her.  she belonged to no one.  yet several neighbors fed her.  it’s a total mystery where she came from).  She stared us down from the storm door.  Stretched on the windowsill.  Mewed.  Purred.  Basically captured the kid’s hearts one by one, hook, line and sinker.  Shoo. Shoo.  Go home, kitty.

She started sneaking in the house if the door was left open.  I had to pick her up one day and scoot her back out.  That furry body.  That swishy tail.  The ginger and white coloring (in a house FULL of redheads, we notice these things…)  Those big hazel eyes.  Puss-in-boots.  Without the boots.  Then I realized she’s not a cat yet, but that kitten/cat.  Dang it.  She reeled me in, too.  And I didn’t sneeze.  Hmmmmmm.  Nevertheless, I was NOT taking this kitty.  Shoo.  Shoo.  Go home, kitty.

I compromised, she became my mission to find a “No-kill” rescue home for her.  My good friend, whom I affectionately refer to as “Cat Lady”, steered me toward a group who did this.  The gal was super receptive and had contacts to get her to a vet and update shots and spay her on the cheap.  But…….with adoptions “in the tank” according to her, she’d see what she could do. It’s a conundrum of what to do in the meantime.

Hubby and I talked about my conversation with the rescue group gal and agreed to donate to her shots/spay, but then I realized I was willing to give it a go.  If he would.  I had to give him the hard sell:  cats are independent, she’s very social, the kids love her, it would TOTALLY get us off the hook for a pet.  Quite honestly it was an easy sell.  We agreed if the allergies got out of hand, we’d find her a new home….which would be excruciating, but we agreed to take it one day at a time.  A quick trip to Wally-world and we were supplied up.  Her vet appointment is this coming week.

For now, I am washing my hands and not touching my face.  harder than you think.  She is cuddled up and purring.  In my lap while I work on my laptop.  In Hubby’s lap while he works.  Sleeping soundly while we watch a movie.  Chasing her catnip mouse and feather stick.

Dessert. It always comes with a price, somehow…..

After Christmas and before New Year’s the planets were in perfect alignment and I was able to spend an evening with my very dear friend, A and her 6 children (and my 2 girls).  Short version:  my hubby was working.   my boys were with my sister and her family and I was on my way to get them.  A’s hubby was at the beach with his parents for a vacation (a few days ahead of her while she took care of some stuff–I think she got the better end of the deal!).  So for a few short hours our kids played hard, ate pizza, watched movies and she and I were able to catch up (mostly uninterrupted with life’s usual interjections), drink wine, eat pizza and THEN.  she made dessert. Not just any dessert.  Simply the easiest dessert to make.  However, don’t let its simplicity distract you from its deliciousness, which is what our kids refer to it as.  I call it “The Devil”.  And I won’t be making it any time soon as it completely contradicts my weight loss goal for 2012.  boo hiss.

So, you start with these, and generous side walls to contain the next ingredients:

Which are these:  a good cup of butter and cup of brown sugar, always a scrumptious couple!!  Pour it on the crackers and bake it in the oven a few minutes until bubbly:

Then add these (which I had NO idea came in such a monstrous size–obviously I don’t shop @ Costco!!!)  when the pan is  hot out of the oven and spread all over until melted and covered up.  Chill for a bit in the freezer. Break it up and voila!  So amazing.

You end up with this and good luck taking a picture before anyone gets to it.  Vultures I tell you.  Vultures.

**as a side note:  if perhaps your pizza spilled over into the oven and you forgot to clean it up before preheating the oven, this might go off and after about 10 minutes of searching for breakers and on/off switches, you may be driven to climbing a ladder and using whatever tape is available and dishrags to muffle the noise until the husbands can be located for guidance.  always good for a huge belly laugh.  good times, good times.  gotta love girlfriends.  and their kids.  and their dessert!!!  Happy New Year to you and yours!!!

St. Augustine, me and my girl (and a ton of other fourth graders!)

 

My favorite elementary school field trip:  St. Augustine, Florida.  Fourth graders, charter bus, and as much history (and a little shopping) as you can shove down their sweet little throats in five hours!  And I absolutely LOVE it and so do they.  Fortunately, we live close enough (kind of) that we’ve also been able to visit as a family a few times as well to enjoy it at our own pace without the constraints of a scheduled tour, tired classmates and stressed teachers doing constant head counts (for which I am grateful).

This was my third time chaperoning (and I get to do it again next year for the last time) and I let my daughter have the camera and get the sights from her perspective.  The results?  I will be handing her the camera more frequently….

She’s a mini-me:  (obviously she didn’t take this…I did…the rest are hers!)

She was fascinated by the Spanish settlement, how their faith (and ours) was EVERYwhere, seeing how they lived, growing their gardens, caring for livestock, cooking their meals, preparing their own leather goods and the sturdy carpentry skills.

She was able to try out her sweeping skills with the homemade brooms and quickly decided she was grateful for OUR broom!

 

Dinner looked and SMELLED phenomenal…our table didn’t look quite like this, but we did have beans and rice that night!

Vivid colors on the pottery.

Grapes in the garden, ripe on the vine.

Castillo de San Marcos.  Ah, a lovely sight to behold on such a beautiful day!

Cannons over the wall for protection.

The church in the fort.

 The altar of St. Mark.                                                                            Holy water font.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bell tower.

Rolling cannon.

The school bell and the orange tree at the Oldest Wooden Schoolhouse.

 

Learning to let go of perfect…

Edwin Bliss has said, “The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.”

This past few days I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote.  In a busy world, with four active children, a husband and full-time jobs for both of us, we are blessed.  Like many of our friends, neighbors and acquaintances in this wildly busy life, we cram as much as we can pack down, shake a bit and pack some more into most days/weeks/months.  Unfortunately, we (hubby and I) both err a  little on the “perfectionist” side of things…one of us <ahem> more than the other, but we both want things done and we want them done well.  The danger in that is, that we (me) often lose sight of what is important.  I become more focused on doing it ALL and doing it ALL (seemingly) effortless and perfectly.  It’s exhausting.  (the kicker is, the end result is RARELY perfect)  And now I know why….I’ve lost focus on what in the heck I am doing.  I am more interested in executing perfection than finding gratification and excellence.  It IS frustrating and leads me to completing tasks “perfectly” and seldom gratified and often grumpy.

To change focus.  It’s going to take some practice to let go of “perfect” and settle for gratification.  I’m not sure if I can do that, but it’s got to be worth the effort.  Right?

Raise ’em up and let them go…sniff, sniff

Lately I have been doing a lot of reminiscing about our kiddos as itsy-bitsy-wee ones and wishing for some of that time back.  Of course, looking back, it’s all with rose-colored glasses.  I choose to focus my memories on their chubby little cheeks, squishy soft hands that reached for mine, Johnson&Johnson’s shampoo and their sweet little voices.  I prefer not to dwell on the memories of nights of multiple wake-ups, temper tantrums, perpetual messes everywhere and the copious amounts of stuff necessary to lug EVERYWHERE.  That said, I absolutely love where our kiddos are right now.  I love the people they are and  the people they are becoming.  I love the portability of our lives.

It’s so odd to be on the track with little people, who become bigger people who evolve into grown ups and fly the coop.  I don’t like that aspect much, but it truly is a part of life.   As I watch friends go before me on this bittersweet journey, it puts me in check with the path our own children are on.  I always second-guess myself, and perhaps that is the nature of parenting…..guessing, figuring it out as you go, judging yourself against others, watching, learning, repeat the cycle.

I just pray that the way we raise our children prepares them for the life ahead of them.

  • We choose not to helicopter-parent our children.  If we orchestrate every activity, every friendship, monitor every argument, control every choice; how do we ever expect them to think for themselves?  We won’t always be there.  In taking away the opportunities to learn, choose and fall, we raise our children to be dependent on us and independence will be long in coming to them. Living in constant fear of what “might” happen is unhealthy.  So we let go.  A lot.  And we trust, hope and pray.  Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
  • We give them a lot of freedoms, choices and variety in their lives.  Lead by example.  Set expectations.  Open your mind to a variety of opportunities, people and experiences.  Life is FULL of them.  Be the salt and the light and learn how to get along with different personalities.  Life skill!  Matthew 5:13-16  “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.  “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 
  • We try to let them be kids for a while.  That means (for our family):   participating in team sports, band, X-Box, skateboarding with friends, barbies, pet shop toys, Poptropica, weekends of NOTHING scheduled so they can roam the ‘hood with friends and build forts out of spare nails, sheets and big sticks, kickball in the street, wrestling with each other and dad (which I LOATHE but can see the importance of letting little cubs wrestle).  Let the big responsibilities wait.  There is a lifetime of that ahead.
  • We give them chores. Life is full of them.  If we don’t teach them and give ample opportunity to practice, how will they learn?  Sure, I can do it faster and better, but it does my children a huge disservice.  A side bonus of this is chore day gets done MUCH faster.  The downside is, perhaps not to MY specifications, but in time……
  • We give them allowances.   Money management is a practice.  practice.  practice.  Get in the habit of managing money, saving for wants, helping others.  Start early.  Start little. Big payoff when they get older.  We are starting to see the fruits of this practice even now with our older boys.
  • We give them consequences.  Action.  Reaction.  Good choices. Bad choices.  Responsibility for choices made.  Again, much easier to learn when they are young and just pray, pray, pray that it’s a good, strong, thick foundation that serves them well later in life.
  • We bring them to church, speak about our faith and do our best to live out that faith in our lives.   Again…build that foundation.  All that we have, all that we are is granted to us by the mercy and grace of a most loving God.  When the time comes in their lives when they are questioned and challenged on their own faith may they have enough of a background, trust and strength to walk the walk.  May that time be short.  May these lessons in their lives now bear great saving fruit later.  Proverbs 22:6   Start children off on the way they should go,and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
  • We give them bedtimes.  Reasonable bed times.  With the occasional sleep over or special activity.  Regular sleep is a huge need.  The old “I’m not tired” just doesn’t cut it when they are asleep within 10 minutes of going to bed.  They need it, we enforce it.\
  • We give them extra homework.  Practice makes perfect.  Doesn’t win us any “cool mom and dad” awards but I don’t really care.
  • We let them fail.  Set the bar.  Lead by example.  Show them how.  Preparation.  Time management.  We learn from our mistakes.  The can’t learn if we do it for them.  It makes me cringe, but it truly shortens the learning curve.