Tag Archives: teens

Parents, keep fighting the fight!

I have several friends with teenagers who are struggling, and struggling mightily with a wide variety of teen angst and issues and I’ve been praying for and with them pretty regularly now.  It’s heart wrenching.  It’s terrifying.  It’s real.  It’s life.  It’s a time of exercising Trust and Faith in the One who these children ultimately belong to.  Hoping and praying we’ve built that solid foundation.  Praying we’ve planted that mustard seed on fertile soil.  With 4 kiddos of our own and two who are currently teens, I have full expectations that we too, will face our own struggles in these hormone-laden years.  We watch and we wait and we live each day in trial and error, learning as we go and gleaning wisdom and example from those around us.

Teenagers.  Hormones.  Frontal lobe nerve myelination.    These are the days where we must. pray. without. ceasing. (really, every day is)   I came across this quote during my readings this morning:

The faults of children are not always imputed to the parents, especially when they have instructed them and given good example. Our Lord, in His wonderous Providence, allows children to break the hearts of devout fathers and mothers. Thus the decisions your children have made don’t make you a failure as a parent in God’s eyes. You are entitled to feel sorrow, but not necessarily guilt. Do not cease praying for your children; God’s grace can touch a hardened heart. Commend your children to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. When parents pray the Rosary,at the end of each decade they should hold the Rosary aloft and say to her,”With these beads bind my children to your Immaculate Heart”, she will attend to their souls.

— St. Louise de Marillac

There is hope, parents.  There is grace abundant.  Keep fighting the fight.

Happy Papal Inauguration Day!

Trendy VS Classic…there’s a reason trends come and go

I’ll stick with the trends that won’t wreck my life, scar me or put my children in position they are not ready to be in before they can handle it.

This came and went….

This will never disappoint….

trend·y (trndInformal

adj. trend·i·ertrend·i·est

Of or in accord with the latest fad or fashion: trendy clothes.
n. pl. trend·ies

One who is drawn to and represents the latest trend
Fashion trends are one thing.  They come, they go.  They add a little zip into your wardrobe and shake things up.  I like a trendy piece here and there, generally though, I am a T-shirt and shorts or capris kind of gal.  I put a little extra effort in for Mass on Sundays and date-night with Hubby, aside from that, I’m happy in my regular outfit, or even workout clothes, it’s all about comfort for me!
                                                                          I just don’t get it….
Then you have tattoos.  Quite popular these days.  We live near the beach and believe me when I say we are SO in the minority here, having fresh, ink-free skin.  Everyone’s got ’em.  From a little wrist or ankle tat, to the tramp stamp to the full on sleeves.  A day trip to the water park is a quick education in all the varieties and evolution of the tattoo from the fresh 19 year-old skin to the been-there-done-that 40 something, few kids later and some sun damage and suddenly it’s not quite the tat it was 20 years earlier.  Other people can do what they want, it’s just not for me.  I can’t seem to pick something that I think I’ll STILL love 5, 20, 50 years from now.  Tattoo removal is a big business, big money,  pain involved and you don’t end up with the smooth ink-free spot you started out with when you are done.  I’ll stick with the trends that I can pack up and send to Goodwill after a year or so….
The one parenting trend that currently “wraps me around the axle” (as my girlfriend says) is the Co-Ed Sleepover for high schoolers.  Time magazine even has an article with tips on how to run your own child’s co-ed sleepover.  WHAT?!?!?!  THE??!!?? (insert expletive here!).  You’ve got to be kidding me!!!  For our family, we limit sleepovers to a few friends and are slowly phasing them out.  We don’t even host them.  We have boys and girls and as they get older, it’s just a mix I don’t want to  encourage.  There’s just nothing to think about here.  Add boy + girls + raging hormones and shut out the lights.  Hmmmmm   Really?  I’m just flabbergasted that anyone would think this is a good idea.  Implement all the “safety issues” you want, but believe me, “IT” can still happen, even with safety measures in place.
Recently, a Facebook friend took a poll on co-ed sleepovers and with the exception of ONE person, the majority was mightily against the idea.  It turns out my friend was polling to show proof that most parents oppose to her high-schooler.  It was refreshing to see those opposed, but it also made me wonder:  if it’s the parents that are pressured into the sleepovers by their kids, then what message does that send about how to stand up against peer-pressure to the kids?  Kids will do what they are going to do (and I was a kid and I DID make poor choices), but as parents, aren’t we called to guide those choices wisely?  To guard them against youthful mistakes?  With medical proof that brain development is HUGE from adolescence to age 20 or so (nothing we didn’t already know….but now have  proof!), a teen’s frontal lobes are still developing and learning to master emotions and decision-making skills, why would we willingly thrust them into a situation to further complicate matters?
Kids are going to mess up.  It’s a fact of life.  I don’t want to purposefully make it harder on them.  They NEED us to help them distinguish right from wrong.  They NEED us to say “no”.  They NEED boundaries.  They NEED rules.  They NEED consequences.  So for us, and our children, we will continue to call and verify the occasional sleepover, say “no” to uncomfortable intuitions, enforce boundaries and consequences for breaking rules and testing limits.  These are things that will help our children grown into responsible adults.  It’s hard.  It’s painful for all of us.  It molds our society for tomorrow.  Until they grow up and spread their wings, I’m fine with NOT being the cool parent.  It’s a work in progress and we are far from perfect, but at least we are trying.
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.