Author Archives: tracye1

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About tracye1

A wee bit about me, Tracy. Married to my high school sweetie for a looooong time. Mama of 4 beautiful kiddos, now ADULTS!!!! This blog is a potpourri of posts. Some wax on about my Catholic faith, others family, some are just a “diary” of life updates. Life is a journey, taken one day at a time (sometimes one step at a time) and my blog is about my personal trek through life. Peace!

Sleep or blog???

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Ah, the beginning of the sports season….Flag football for one and Softball for another.  Same season.  Two different fields.  Overlapping games and practices.  <sigh>  The anthem of a million families….run, run, run.  A dilemma:  we want them to be well-rounded, experience the lessons in sports and a little extra exercise and play never hurt.  However, after a full day’s work, it’s switching over to “Round 2” for mom and dad and takes pre-planning in order to avoid all the fast-food traps that go along with it.  Some days we do it well, others we have “room for improvement”.  At the end of the day, when kids are fed and showered and cleats hung up (or thrown in the garage haphazardly….) there is a decision to make:  sleep or blog?  As my lack of posting can attest to, I choose sleep.

Several days a week I get up early to work out and therefore, need to sleep early.  Balance and time management.  I’m still working on it all…..it’s a lifelong process!

Colossians 3:2  Set your eyes on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Raise ’em up and let them go…sniff, sniff

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Lately I have been doing a lot of reminiscing about our kiddos as itsy-bitsy-wee ones and wishing for some of that time back.  Of course, looking back, it’s all with rose-colored glasses.  I choose to focus my memories on their chubby little cheeks, squishy soft hands that reached for mine, Johnson&Johnson’s shampoo and their sweet little voices.  I prefer not to dwell on the memories of nights of multiple wake-ups, temper tantrums, perpetual messes everywhere and the copious amounts of stuff necessary to lug EVERYWHERE.  That said, I absolutely love where our kiddos are right now.  I love the people they are and  the people they are becoming.  I love the portability of our lives.

It’s so odd to be on the track with little people, who become bigger people who evolve into grown ups and fly the coop.  I don’t like that aspect much, but it truly is a part of life.   As I watch friends go before me on this bittersweet journey, it puts me in check with the path our own children are on.  I always second-guess myself, and perhaps that is the nature of parenting…..guessing, figuring it out as you go, judging yourself against others, watching, learning, repeat the cycle.

I just pray that the way we raise our children prepares them for the life ahead of them.

  • We choose not to helicopter-parent our children.  If we orchestrate every activity, every friendship, monitor every argument, control every choice; how do we ever expect them to think for themselves?  We won’t always be there.  In taking away the opportunities to learn, choose and fall, we raise our children to be dependent on us and independence will be long in coming to them. Living in constant fear of what “might” happen is unhealthy.  So we let go.  A lot.  And we trust, hope and pray.  Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
  • We give them a lot of freedoms, choices and variety in their lives.  Lead by example.  Set expectations.  Open your mind to a variety of opportunities, people and experiences.  Life is FULL of them.  Be the salt and the light and learn how to get along with different personalities.  Life skill!  Matthew 5:13-16  “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.  “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 
  • We try to let them be kids for a while.  That means (for our family):   participating in team sports, band, X-Box, skateboarding with friends, barbies, pet shop toys, Poptropica, weekends of NOTHING scheduled so they can roam the ‘hood with friends and build forts out of spare nails, sheets and big sticks, kickball in the street, wrestling with each other and dad (which I LOATHE but can see the importance of letting little cubs wrestle).  Let the big responsibilities wait.  There is a lifetime of that ahead.
  • We give them chores. Life is full of them.  If we don’t teach them and give ample opportunity to practice, how will they learn?  Sure, I can do it faster and better, but it does my children a huge disservice.  A side bonus of this is chore day gets done MUCH faster.  The downside is, perhaps not to MY specifications, but in time……
  • We give them allowances.   Money management is a practice.  practice.  practice.  Get in the habit of managing money, saving for wants, helping others.  Start early.  Start little. Big payoff when they get older.  We are starting to see the fruits of this practice even now with our older boys.
  • We give them consequences.  Action.  Reaction.  Good choices. Bad choices.  Responsibility for choices made.  Again, much easier to learn when they are young and just pray, pray, pray that it’s a good, strong, thick foundation that serves them well later in life.
  • We bring them to church, speak about our faith and do our best to live out that faith in our lives.   Again…build that foundation.  All that we have, all that we are is granted to us by the mercy and grace of a most loving God.  When the time comes in their lives when they are questioned and challenged on their own faith may they have enough of a background, trust and strength to walk the walk.  May that time be short.  May these lessons in their lives now bear great saving fruit later.  Proverbs 22:6   Start children off on the way they should go,and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
  • We give them bedtimes.  Reasonable bed times.  With the occasional sleep over or special activity.  Regular sleep is a huge need.  The old “I’m not tired” just doesn’t cut it when they are asleep within 10 minutes of going to bed.  They need it, we enforce it.\
  • We give them extra homework.  Practice makes perfect.  Doesn’t win us any “cool mom and dad” awards but I don’t really care.
  • We let them fail.  Set the bar.  Lead by example.  Show them how.  Preparation.  Time management.  We learn from our mistakes.  The can’t learn if we do it for them.  It makes me cringe, but it truly shortens the learning curve.

Bringing in the weekend with Pumpkin Chocolate chip cookies among other things!

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— 1 —

And the weekend is once again upon us….Finally Friday, free again…..Everybody’s working for the weekend….Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.…and our neighborhood is having its 2nd annual block party (barring rain, then it moves to Saturday night)…my girlfriend reminded me about some cookies I made last year.  Sooooooooo, my pumpkin-chocolate-chip cookies are baked and ready to go ( you KNOW that sounds good, and this time of year, I am ALL about anything pumpkin!).  if the party is postponed I’m not sure how long I can hold my gang off the cookies though…

— 2 —

Almost a whole week down of “Clean Eating” and I must say that so far so good.  Planning ahead with the meals worked FABULOUS and I felt satisfied and my only cheat was testing out the cookies mentioned in #1….but actually I only had about three and I’m good….didn’t even eat the dough….HUGE accomplishment on that!!!  HUGE!!!  Who doesn’t eat the cookie dough!??!?!?!?!

— 3 —

In my usual procrastination fashion, with Halloween a mere 3 days away, it appears we will be getting into high gear of the whole putting-the-costumes-together-last-minute-and-all.  In all actuality, we have the costumes in our possession but certain little girls can’t seem to make up their minds, certain boys suddenly want to trick or treat ONE LAST TIME….but fear not, it ALWAYS comes together somehow!

— 4 —

I have an opportunity to share how God has worked in our lives over these past 8 years:  before, during and after incarceration.  An actual writing project—fo’ REALZ.  I’m a little queasy at the prospect. That’s coming WAY out of my wheelhouse!!   However, prison ministry is an area that is hugely important to our society.  It shows the unloved that they ARE loved, if not by their own family and friends, Christ is ALWAYS present.  I haven’t done the research (yet) but I’m quite sure it’s safe to say that the majority of society have blinders on when it comes to prison and probation.  “Don’t ask, don’t tell” and “as long as I don’t have to deal with it, I’ll just mind my business”.  The problem is, it’s ALL of our business when prisoners are released and return to society.  The more positive reinforcements they receive and support groups on the outside, the more likely they will be to be productive in society.  And I can assure you, the prisons are overcrowded and understaffed and rehabilitation comes to very few.

— 5 —

I started to grumble about my Monday afternoon “Taxi duty” of the drop off, pick up, drop off, pick up and repeat and repeat and THEN it occurred to me.  At this time, we only have ONE day during the week where it’s that bad, I have other friends who do it multiple times a week.  Who am I to complain?  I am glad that our kids are involved in extracurriculars.  It gives them a great outlet physically, they meet friends and they open up their interests.    Sure, some seasons it’s more intense than others, but each year goes by more quickly, the kids keep getting taller and one day I am going to miss all this chaos.  And only because I can look back on their toddler and baby years and ACHE for that time again do I know it’s true.

— 6 —

Our youngest diva daughter and I had an appointment with the Deacon at our church this week to address her bedtime-anger issues.  It was time to pull in a third-party because it’s a little BEYOND ridiculous.  I have learned that sometimes, when you parent, you have to realize you need someone else to tell your kids the same things you’ve told them a million times, because their voice is different and for some reason they actually HEAR them.  whatever.  I’m good with it.  She appears to have taken the conversation to heart…..so far.  Her attitude is much better and PRAISE BE TO GOD, we haven’t had to go back in a second time ALL week-long!!!  Glory, that’s a huge celebration!!!!

— 7 —

Last week I cut my hair.  It’s been long for quite a while this time.  I only went to my shoulders, long layered.  It’s so FUN!  My head feels so light and when I drive with the windows down I can still see what’s in front of me.  I love a good haircut.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Clean eating….

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Day 2 of my “clean living” venture.  So far so good.  Though it IS Day 2.  I am queen of sticking to something for about a week or two and then it’s back to my wicked ways….THIS time, however, with hubby home I have an accountability partner.  So, that’s always good when one may reach for that Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream in the freezer. perhaps.

Oxygen magazine has a great “Off the Couch” publication with really good articles, very motivating.  Now, I don’t aspire to be a competitive bodybuilder or fitness model, but will be thrilled to be COMFORTABLE in my jeans this winter, to have more energy and to be healthier.  Here are a few things that are different “this time”:

  • Hubby’s home.  Statistically, with spousal moral support people do better at sticking to diet and exercise changes. Right?  Common sense says yes……..let’s go with that!!
  • I have a PLAN this week.  Each day, in fact!  There is a weight watchers saying, “If you fail to plan then plan to fail”.(also attributed to Ben Franklin, Winston Churchill, Carl W. Buechner, and Harvey MacKay–in varying versions)
  • My kids are on board.  H.U.G.E. Now to slowwwwwwly introduce them to more exciting vegetables, etc.
  • I’ve already been pretty consistent on my workout routine for the past month, time to add good nutrition.
Some things to still incorporate:   journaling what and when I eat.  Purging the “junk” from the house so as not to tempt me.  Incorporating the meals I am making to the entire family.  Baby steps.  You can only eat an elephant one bite at a time…
Phillipians 4:13  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!

Love God, Love your neighbor…easy, right?

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Today’s Gospel reading:

GospelMt 22:34-40

When the Pharisees heard that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees,
they gathered together, and one of them,
a scholar of the law tested him by asking,
“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” 
He said to him,
“You shall love the Lord, your God,
with all your heart,
with all your soul,
and with all your mind.
This is the greatest and the first commandment.
The second is like it:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 
The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”
Heard it a million times.  Rolls off my tongue often, reminding my children that they ARE each other’s neighbors and to be kind and loving, for crying out loud!!!  Our pastor’s homily truly resounded with the Gospel in which he asked us how many times we truly LOVE our neighbor and some really, REALLY good reasons why NOT to love our neighbor.
Loving your neighbor might put you in a tricky position of “how much does one give to help out?”  And I thank God for the neighbor who employed my husband for two months of solid work right out of prison.  No judgement.  No pity.   A hand up.
Loving your neighbor might put you in a tricky position of getting sucked into someone else’s drama.  And I think of all my patients who come in and just need a friendly ear for a few minutes, as their days consist of being homebound, at the mercy of others, with families who might be too far away to help, (geographically or emotionally), and they just need someone to care and listen…even if it’s just a few minutes.
Loving your neighbor might put you in a tricky position of giving away some of your time, talent or treasures.  And I thank God for all the generosity of friends bestowed up us while hubby was “away” at Christmas and throughout the year, material possessions, housing during our visitation trips, babysitting during our visitation trips, prayer requests and prayerful guidance and mentoring during difficult times.
Loving your neighbor might put you in a tricky position of sharing your house for an extended period of time.  And I thank God for parents who put us up in their home for 5 years while the kids were small until I was able to do it myself.
Loving your neighbor might put you in the tricky position of opening up to new friends and putting your heart and humility on the line until you see if that friendship blossoms.  And so we did:
We had two sets of our neighbors over for dinner yesterday evening.  It was nice.  A lovely fall temperature, windows open, kids playing, enjoying the back porch and some white chicken chili, pumpkin muffins, jalapeno cornbread, hamburgers and veggies and dip, followed by ghosts in the graveyard desert.  Yum.  But it was also a time to catch up on each other’s lives and scratch a bit below the surface niceties.  Trading parenting and homework-helping tips.  Chasing toddlers, watching a baby nod off in papa’s arms, letting teens and tweens socialize through grunts and no agenda for any of us.  And it was nice.  To break bread.  To get to know our neighbors better. And to be loved.  Knowing that these people are living out God’s commandments as they “go against the grain” of society in be-friending a felon and his family.  As we went to bed last night, hubby said it was nice to have such a “normal” evening.  And it WAS nice.  And I thank God for beautiful moments like this.