Author Archives: tracye1

About tracye1

A wee bit about me, Tracy. Married to my high school sweetie for a looooong time. Mama of 4 beautiful kiddos, now ADULTS!!!! This blog is a potpourri of posts. Some wax on about my Catholic faith, others family, some are just a “diary” of life updates. Life is a journey, taken one day at a time (sometimes one step at a time) and my blog is about my personal trek through life. Peace!

Summah time

To each his own

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We have just come off of graduation season. And we have made it through our first of 4 (God willing!) in the next few years. I have to tell you. It did not look like I thought it would. While I struggled with this in the beginning, as I processed it and opened my eyes to what was happening, I was able to embrace it. Slowly, I was actually able to relax in this and chuckle in the reality that our plans must be so much entertainment for God. When we do actually step back and look at the big picture, sometimes we get a little better idea of living the plan God has in mind for us rather than struggle to keep our own agenda alive.

In these 18 (almost 19) years of parenting, I am CONSTANTLY amazed at the differences in each of our children. There are similarities to be sure, but the differences between the kids and between us as parents has me always trying to readjust my view of life based on our kid’s perception, my husband’s perception and we ALL have a different outlook. Isn’t that the way it is in life? So why does this frequently catch me off guard in my own family? The struggle of being human is real, I tell you!

Any time I am able to detach my will from any given situation it’s crazy what I can learn. Things that I view as important to take care of RIGHT! NOW? Not always the case. Emotions and hormonal struggles of the teen life? Those require a stepping back and dusting off the brain recall of that truly tough transition in life from little kid to big kid. Raising up humans is constant motion, assess, re-assess and alter course. There is no black or white. That is the constant reminder to myself; we are all different and there are many, many ways to live this life.

Bearing all this in mind, when I am able to reconcile these truths the reality is that when your kiddo has a different view on school and finishes 6 months early, graduation holds no interest for him. Appeasing his mother for graduation pictures for announcements is a compromise. The time to sit in graduation ceremonies will come and will come on multiple occasions but for now we sit back and watch this kid grow into a young man on a path that I never would have even imagined and yet it just feels right for him. Once I put my own agenda down and allowed God to take control (I’m always playing tug of war with control), my eyes were opened to yet another path and truth that God truly does have this. These little humans are HIS. On loan to us. And HE does a WAY better job of taking care of them than I ever could. And THAT is awesome.

So, Jesus, I trust in you. Take the wheel. I’ll try not to take it back , but we both know I will. So have patience with me and I will continue to work on that, too.

Are we really #Orlando?

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Sunday morning, I was relaxing before Mass and trolling Facebook, gram, news, checking email to keep me sane until other people were ready to go. As I scanned through I saw news about a shooting at a club in Orlando. Again. Another shooting. I remind myself to stop checking the news because it is seriously ALWAYS negative. And oh my goodness…….every flippin’ day there is a shooting/carjacking/robbery in Orlando. Every. Day. I’m numb. It infuriates me every time I read it. And so I just passed right on by the story.

After Mass, we had a few birthday errands to run for our littlest and by the time we swung back around to get the Hubs after helping out at the K of C pancakes, I had heard. Our church actually had a Big Red Bus that day. I figured I’d try and donate (if my iron would allow it) and the line y’all. The. Line. There was no way I’d be able to donate before they shut down at 1. It was only 11:30. The buses are generally staffed for a few people at a time. They are not equipped to deal with the demand that this Sunday brought.

And so I chewed on this tragedy all day long. I’m still chewing. And I’m pissed. Again. Another person with another assault weapon takes their agenda out on innocent bystanders. People who think differently. People who live differently. People who pray differently. All fair game. No regard to the preciousness of life. Irrational. Selfish. And it is in these moments that I struggle the most with my faith and with the evil that runs among us. I contemplate the glory of a commune in the middle of nowhere.

Such hate in the heart of people. But hate breeds hate. And I feel it when I begin to hate these people who commit these atrocious acts. Again and again and again.

This was a a hate crime. This was an act of selfishness. And the city responded. With blood donations. With social media startups to care for pets of those killed and harmed. Jet Blue responded with free flights to immediate family members of the victims. And it continues to grow. Because people want to help.

But are we all #Orlando? This mass attack is but one in a chilling line of attacks. Terrorists. Mentally ill. Lone wolves. Call it what you want. It’s all hate. It’s all terror. And Americans respond. For a time. And then life goes on. Which is what we must do. But do we live differently? Do we respond to others differently? Are we more loving and kind? Patient? Sincere? Willing to give up a Saturday to wait in hot lines to donate blood? I hope so. I hope so. I saw this today and it has resonated with me all day. Let us all be #Orlando. Even after the darkness passes. Especially after the darkness passes.

Samwise Gamgee quote

Big picture

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I’m truly over hearing about Brock and his foolish speaking father. I’m probably about to do an unpopular post here, but first do not misunderstand me: that kid was wrong. that dad was wrong. that judge was wrong. this entire thing is so. so. so. wrong. The only thing that is good is the two young men who intervened.

There are so many layers of wrong in this entire scenario we could dissect it for days. Which has been done. Over and over again. I’ve stopped reading. Maybe you have, too. You might not even read this, and that’s ok. I’m not reading anymore. Here’s just some of my observations:

Here’s what I haven’t seen:

Accountability. so much excuse-making in the Brock camp: let’s just call a spade a spade, he did wrong. period. end. Stop making excuses and start taking responsibility.
Remorse. So much blah, blah, blah about alcohol, privilege and talent. While I’m quite sure he is sorry now for what he did……it also seems certain that he’s likely not sorry for the right reasons. I can’t help but wonder if this kid was truly, honestly, genuinely remorseful from the very beginning (without his paternal mouthpiece) would we have even seen this story?
Cause. We live in a society that makes big money on exploiting women. Human trafficking is so disgustingly large that we somehow can’t even get a small grip on it. The seed of women-as-objects is so deeply planted in the minds of our boys (and girls) that while eyebrows are raised when a 14 year old wears a skin tight dress to 8th grade graduation, the parents won’t even see what’s wrong with that. I bet they dang sure give the side-eye to any male who takes notice though. Because modesty=prude. This is apparently anytime I take my 5’9″ daughter dress shopping and it takes an act of congress to get a cute dress that actually covers her ass.

Here’s what I have seen:

USA swimming taking the stance that the Judicial system should have taken. BRAVO. BRAV. O.
Privilege and letters of recommendation apparently serve more of a purpose than job applications, or college apps. It truly IS all about who you know. Myth: proven.
Alcohol. Once again a factor. And when it is you can’t count on staying in control or your friends watching your back. It’s a long history through the decades of impaired decisions on both sides and tragedy following. And a whole lot of regret. And shame.
Great posts on the reminder of an ongoing teaching of our boys, girls, young men and young women on the importance of respecting others and standing up for what is right, in spite of what big advertising and society shove down our throats. This conversation should NEVER end. Despite the uncomfortable nature of the topic.
Inconsistency in how a crime is treated. Race. Privilege. Good, Lord. Is it any wonder what a mess our country is in? And with the two top running “candidates” for president, I don’t see any improvement any time soon. Jesus, please come soon!
Mob mentality.

There’s my vent.

22 Year Celebration

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Ok, so I am having a mid-life blog crisis and can’t decide which one I’ll keep…..this one gets more traffic, so I am thinking that for the rare moment these days that I actually DO blog, this might be it. I’ll deal with that later!

For now, I just wanted to share some of our 22nd Wedding Anniversary celebration. An entire date DAY. And dinner. Alone. It was great.

We moseyed up A1A to St. Augustine. Our first stop was at Snack Jack’s on Flagler Beach. We scored a great table on the screened deck, next to the ocean. Enormous fish tacos for me and a fried oyster po’boy for my Hubs. It was a good start!!

Lunch @ Snack Jack’s in Flagler

A little further up the road to Washington Oaks State Park to walk on the rocks on the beach and then explore the gardens and the river view. I tell you that was SOME gift of Owen Young to his bride, Louise!! Truly a beautiful park and I will be working some bribe magic on our kids for a Christmas card picture up there!!

The Rocks

Matanzas view from the Young’s winter home

In St. Augustine, we strolled the streets, window shopped, had a gelato (me), smoothie (Hubs) and water. Summer is here. And she isn’t playing. Lord, help us come August. No joke! Checked out the alcove area at Flagler college….WHOA!!! What a stunning area!

The Rotunda @ Flagler College

We ended up on our 22nd Anniversary at the Basilica. Walked through the Holy Door together AND managed to be there for Reconciliation. With Mass this a.m. it looks like we completed our first Mercy indulgences on a total fluke. Or was it? You know, God has little surprises for us that aren’t even on our radar and then it’s just mind-blowing. So it was with this. (We had already planned on a road trip later this year to the Shrine in Orlando to walk through the Holy Door there. We still plan to, but what a beautiful gift. On our anniversary.) His Mercies are never-ending.

But first….let me take a #HolyDoorSelfie

A little coffee for the road.

#HolyDoorSelfie (2)

A little dinner at Mama’s favorite restaurant.

Flagler Rotunda (2)

22 looks good, ya’ll. 22 looks real good!

making the trek

Trekking through life: Faith, family, friends and a whole lot of coffee!