Category Archives: Changes

On goals and progress..

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Week three is generally a pretty good waning time.  The thrill of new “goals” has subsided, the work portion is showing its necessity and the motivation is taking a vacation as the mind processes what in the world is involved in attaining goals.

True.  True.  True.  Sort of.  Though my “get healthier” goals are not showing progress as I would like–since I DO love instant gratification–I am finding my new groove and routine in regular gym attendance and walking.  And it feels GOOD!  I am sore.  Right where I should be.  And I am making better choices during the day as to what goes in my mouth and this week I started tracking to see where I can make improvements.  (yes, the brownies I made last night are one of those….but it’s all about moderation and living life, right?).  Today, again, I will pack my lunch and snacks for the day, my gym bag for lunch and my notebook for tracking.  (Sparkpeople is a good motivator, however, it requires online time and when I get home I just prefer to hang with my family, so time will tell where that goes….).  One day at a time.

Quiet time.  Today I added in some reading after my daily Readings.  5 Conversations you must have with your daughter by Vicki Courtney.  The first chapter is on body issues and how society has completely changed how women/girls have gone from worrying about virtue and inner beauty to vanity and Photoshop perfection.  Oh how timely a chapter.  Followed by todays Old Testament reading from 1 Samuel on David’s battle with Goliath.    Oh how timely a chapter.  I am beginning to see a pattern here.  There is nothing too big for God.  Personal body issues.  Societal expectations.  Food for thought.  I think I’ll be chewing on that all day.

Finally, finances.  Plugging along.  Cash is king.  blah, blah, blah.  With the exception of a major car repair last week, we are doing well.  Again with the baby steps.  Rome wasn’t built-in a day and with a goal in sight, we will get there.  It’s a marathon not a sprint.

Carry on, people.  Keep your eye on the prize!

Somehow we end up with a cat…..WTHeck?!?!?!?

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For the past two weeks we’ve had an influx of cats in the neighborhood.  We have SEVERAL neighbors who have outside cats and with some new neighbors they apparently brought new cats.  great.  Did I mention I’m not a cat person?  After college, my roommate had two cats and they were pretty cool.  Just did their own deal and once in a while they’d snuggle.  That was it.  No commitment on my part and it was a peaceful coexistence.  Unfortunately, as I’ve gotten older, I have noticed a propensity to sneezing and itchy eyes after prolonged exposure to cats.  Which made it easy to rebuff the kids as they know “Mom is allergic”.  Instead they’ve begged for dogs, rabbits, hamsters…..even fish.  For the last few years I’ve had my hands full enough with kid-business, never mind adding in a pet, regardless of the variety.  Now with Daddi-O home, the requests have doubled.  tripled.  quadrupled.  ugh.  they.  are.  relentless.  I sometimes have to resort to feigning confusion to their requests, not understanding English.  whatever it takes.

And then.  This cat showed up.  Shoo.  Shoo.  Go home, kitty.

The other cats left us alone.  But this one, named Caramel by the little girl who visits the neighbors occasionally, came over, ALL THE TIME .  (Interestingly enough, we asked around and no one claimed her.  she belonged to no one.  yet several neighbors fed her.  it’s a total mystery where she came from).  She stared us down from the storm door.  Stretched on the windowsill.  Mewed.  Purred.  Basically captured the kid’s hearts one by one, hook, line and sinker.  Shoo. Shoo.  Go home, kitty.

She started sneaking in the house if the door was left open.  I had to pick her up one day and scoot her back out.  That furry body.  That swishy tail.  The ginger and white coloring (in a house FULL of redheads, we notice these things…)  Those big hazel eyes.  Puss-in-boots.  Without the boots.  Then I realized she’s not a cat yet, but that kitten/cat.  Dang it.  She reeled me in, too.  And I didn’t sneeze.  Hmmmmmm.  Nevertheless, I was NOT taking this kitty.  Shoo.  Shoo.  Go home, kitty.

I compromised, she became my mission to find a “No-kill” rescue home for her.  My good friend, whom I affectionately refer to as “Cat Lady”, steered me toward a group who did this.  The gal was super receptive and had contacts to get her to a vet and update shots and spay her on the cheap.  But…….with adoptions “in the tank” according to her, she’d see what she could do. It’s a conundrum of what to do in the meantime.

Hubby and I talked about my conversation with the rescue group gal and agreed to donate to her shots/spay, but then I realized I was willing to give it a go.  If he would.  I had to give him the hard sell:  cats are independent, she’s very social, the kids love her, it would TOTALLY get us off the hook for a pet.  Quite honestly it was an easy sell.  We agreed if the allergies got out of hand, we’d find her a new home….which would be excruciating, but we agreed to take it one day at a time.  A quick trip to Wally-world and we were supplied up.  Her vet appointment is this coming week.

For now, I am washing my hands and not touching my face.  harder than you think.  She is cuddled up and purring.  In my lap while I work on my laptop.  In Hubby’s lap while he works.  Sleeping soundly while we watch a movie.  Chasing her catnip mouse and feather stick.

Goals. Part 1: Those pesky finances

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In a recent post of mine, I outlined a set of resolutions goals that I want to focus on for this coming year.  After reading my friend’s post on GOALS, I loved that term and along with the original blog I read HERE on how to successfully manage and keep resolutions goals, I have begun to attack them.

Having had the house purse strings in my total control for 7+ years I am happy to hand them back to my hubby.  And I am reluctant. As we navigated those dark and murky waters of change several years ago and I went from a happy-go-lucky, stay-at-home mama to a night shift, full-time worker balancing family, sleep and work (in that order) I also had to have a quick lesson on family finances.  ICK!  Despising the checkbook and the whole organizing of bills, it was a chore I was thrilled to have nothing to do with for most of our marriage, happily acquiescing to my hubby all financial decisions–it’s his strong point, not mine.  However, once it was necessary, I realized how foolish I was to have kept my head in the sand for so long.  What a burden for one person to carry alone.  It was a conversation we never had with small children running around, one I never found important nor interesting.  Stupid girl.  Until it was important.  It occurred to me how many friends I had/have in this  situation and it was one I vow to not find myself in again.  It’s crucial to running a household and marriage, to be on the same page; balancing the budget sucks, however, to live within one’s means it’s imperative to know what’s coming in and what goes out.  In these past years of economic downturn, I am sure many, many people have learned this lesson the hard way.  Like me.  The left hand MUST know what the right hand is doing.

I did an OK job for the first 5 years of hubby’s incarceration.  We were with my parents and I was able to keep debt to a minimum or nil.  After buying our house a couple of years ago, expenses began to creep up and in and while nothing was ever late or unpaid, the debt grew.  Extravagance wasn’t an issue, just 4 kiddos and LIFE.   It is what it is.   And now it’s time to dig out.

Fast forward to 2012, and after having hubby home for 6 months and working, we are both in a good spiritual and mental place to discuss finances.  Lay it all open.  Full disclosure.  I looked forward to it as much as pulling off a band-aid.  But it is necessary to be united in this area.  Finances are widely known to be a MAJOR factor in marital discord and we’ve had enough of that for a long while, thank you.  Time to address the elephant in the room:

Luke 8:17  For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

So we laid it out, put it on an Excel sheet (TypeA hubby), and have the beginnings of our “plan” to start chipping away.  It won’t be overnight.  It’s going to take some discipline.  I’ll tell you what though, it is an enormous weight off my shoulders to have faced that beast and shared that burden.  I know everyone has their own system and you do what works.  For us though, we share it all: income and expense.  For us, that’s what works.  And we march forward.   How about you?  Head in the sand or fully aware?  It’s a difficult topic and generally finances are off-limits as a discussion.  Unfortunately, I think that’s one of the reasons our economy got to be where it is, no one discusses finances.

Now onto tackling the remainder of the resolutions goals.  Quiet time in prayer and Health. To be continued…..

Winding down and gearing up…

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As we wind down Christmas and our tree accelerates the dropping of the needles daily as ornaments desperately cling to crunchy branches, my mind turns to the coming of the new year.  While I’m not big on making/keeping “Resolutions”, I DO always seem to become reflective on things I’d like to improve upon in the coming year.  The New Year is always full of promise and hope, like new school supplies….unsharpened pencils, reams of paper, crisp folders; ready, willing and able to be molded to our choices.

Even though I am quick to claim I don’t make “Resolutions”, the truth is, of COURSE I do.  I just realize that I am only good at keeping them for a couple of weeks.  Since the gym is generally crowed until about February, I also know I have a lot of company in short-lived resolutions.  However, in the blissful, wide-eyed moments of promise and hope to come in the New Year, I feel propelled and motivated, especially after reading “5 Keys to Making and Keeping Your New Year Resolutions” @ The Hill House.  

My course of action for 2012 includes a few things:

  • Eating more healthy and exercising.  Quite the popular one.  Of course I’d like to lose weight, but the reality is that I’m not getting any younger and as my patients tell me daily, “It’s a B**** getting old!” I want to be in a good place to face those physical challenges getting older brings.  I want to run and bike and play with my kids and BEAT THEM in their games–yes, sometimes I AM competitive!  Therefore, in keeping with “defining the win”, my workouts will primarily occur at lunchtime, 3X a week and my eating will consist primarily of clean-er eating and learning how to ditch the processed stuff AND incorporate that into my family’s diet as well.  A HUGE task for sure, but some truly astounding payoffs as well. 
 Just as the story of Daniel (Daniel 1:8-15)  shows how eating clean makes for stronger, better, faster, it’s also indicative of the fact that everything we need to be properly nourished and strengthened is provided by nature, not Publix. 
  • More focused “Quiet time” in prayer and seeking time with Christ.  While my morning routine begins with The Daily Readings, it often ends there as well.  Since I am trying to cram EVERYTHING into my mornings (Quiet time, Exercise, Writing….) there is no singular focus on any one of them.  My quiet time has long sustained me, given me strength, peace, clarity and guidance; it’s time to return, focused and un-hurried to that precious time.  When I begin my day in prayer and focused on His will for me, everything else seems to fall in place.
Matthew 6:33  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
  • Reintroducing hubby to the finance side of the family and tightening up.  As we can finally begin to dig out of debt with his job adding to the household income, his TypeA personality will be crucial to my tendency to slide…..it’s a team effort for certain and certain to experience growing pains, but  we will be able to balance each other  as well as the budget along with becoming better stewards of all that God sees fit to bless us with, and bless us He has.  Abundantly.

Luke 6:38  Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

In reaching for my main goals this coming year, my writing may or may not blossom.  Time will tell.  However, as this has always been more about keeping in touch and therapy for my heart, I’m sure I can always find time to bang out a post now and then; it’s just not a huge priority.  Yet.

Learning to let go of perfect…

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Edwin Bliss has said, “The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.”

This past few days I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote.  In a busy world, with four active children, a husband and full-time jobs for both of us, we are blessed.  Like many of our friends, neighbors and acquaintances in this wildly busy life, we cram as much as we can pack down, shake a bit and pack some more into most days/weeks/months.  Unfortunately, we (hubby and I) both err a  little on the “perfectionist” side of things…one of us <ahem> more than the other, but we both want things done and we want them done well.  The danger in that is, that we (me) often lose sight of what is important.  I become more focused on doing it ALL and doing it ALL (seemingly) effortless and perfectly.  It’s exhausting.  (the kicker is, the end result is RARELY perfect)  And now I know why….I’ve lost focus on what in the heck I am doing.  I am more interested in executing perfection than finding gratification and excellence.  It IS frustrating and leads me to completing tasks “perfectly” and seldom gratified and often grumpy.

To change focus.  It’s going to take some practice to let go of “perfect” and settle for gratification.  I’m not sure if I can do that, but it’s got to be worth the effort.  Right?