Category Archives: Lessons

Mama got her cardio today!! The bright side of a breakdown…..

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I came home for lunch yesterday for a Skype meeting (more on that later, but it was AWESOME) and after the meeting was over I left to go back to work.  Or so I thought.  I got in the car and vroo…nothing.  vrooo…nothing.  vrooooo….NOTHING.  UGH!  After calling my step-dad to come over and jumpstart me, because surely THAT’S the problem, still….nothing.  Grrrrrrr.

Suddenly remembering that AAA had been sending me renewal stuff and hoping , HOPING, that only meant they were merely beginning their four-month-early renewal routine and that my card was still in effect.  Checking my number online and….PHEW…still in effect, (apparently I had not put the updated card in my wallet for some reason).

30 minutes later, my friendly tow truck driver arrives and my baby was put on the flatbed.  Fortunately, I realized that the likelihood of the truck actually being fixed today was low, so I put my bike on the back of the truck for later transpo..

Then the flurry of texting and phone calls to arrange pick up for the kiddos since hubby was working late and then back to work where now my poor friend is knee-deep in alligators since I took the three-hour tour at lunch!

Riding my bike home from work (thankfully I live close!) I was trying to look at the bright side that at least I was getting in my 30 minutes of cardio, right?!?!  Once home,  our youngest son asked me to walk the neighbor’s dog with him (and who am I to turn down a little quality time with my boy?!?)….after our walk he wanted to get in his “off day” run for his football homework and asked me to ride my bike with him since it was getting dark (again with the QT)….he wrapped up his two laps (a mile)–at a good pace, mind you–and as I pulled in to the driveway he decided to go for a third lap–since he  was feeling so good–at this point my rear end had to draw the line.  “Have a good run, bud!  Be safe and I’ll see you in a few.”  Mother-0f-the-year.  I know.  Don’t judge.  He’s a smart boy and he made it home safe and I helped him stretch afterward……

Hopefully we get the green machine back today.  However, God’s timing is perfect.  Sometimes He reveals to me WHY stuff happens and sometimes not so much, but at least the timing was pretty good for a “breakdown”:  Lunchtime.  Not on the way to school/work OR on the way home.  Hubby is working from home today so he can taxi us all around until the truck is finished.  Our little life is a 4 mile radius, which is do-able.  Why complain?  I just laughed.  It’s always something.  It makes life spicy.  and hey, it’s only money, right?  This too, will pass and it’s not the end of the world.  It’s just a little soreness on my posterior which means I need to mix in the bike for some cardio and toughen up!

Have a great weekend!

1 Thessalonians 5:18   give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Goals. Part 1: Those pesky finances

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In a recent post of mine, I outlined a set of resolutions goals that I want to focus on for this coming year.  After reading my friend’s post on GOALS, I loved that term and along with the original blog I read HERE on how to successfully manage and keep resolutions goals, I have begun to attack them.

Having had the house purse strings in my total control for 7+ years I am happy to hand them back to my hubby.  And I am reluctant. As we navigated those dark and murky waters of change several years ago and I went from a happy-go-lucky, stay-at-home mama to a night shift, full-time worker balancing family, sleep and work (in that order) I also had to have a quick lesson on family finances.  ICK!  Despising the checkbook and the whole organizing of bills, it was a chore I was thrilled to have nothing to do with for most of our marriage, happily acquiescing to my hubby all financial decisions–it’s his strong point, not mine.  However, once it was necessary, I realized how foolish I was to have kept my head in the sand for so long.  What a burden for one person to carry alone.  It was a conversation we never had with small children running around, one I never found important nor interesting.  Stupid girl.  Until it was important.  It occurred to me how many friends I had/have in this  situation and it was one I vow to not find myself in again.  It’s crucial to running a household and marriage, to be on the same page; balancing the budget sucks, however, to live within one’s means it’s imperative to know what’s coming in and what goes out.  In these past years of economic downturn, I am sure many, many people have learned this lesson the hard way.  Like me.  The left hand MUST know what the right hand is doing.

I did an OK job for the first 5 years of hubby’s incarceration.  We were with my parents and I was able to keep debt to a minimum or nil.  After buying our house a couple of years ago, expenses began to creep up and in and while nothing was ever late or unpaid, the debt grew.  Extravagance wasn’t an issue, just 4 kiddos and LIFE.   It is what it is.   And now it’s time to dig out.

Fast forward to 2012, and after having hubby home for 6 months and working, we are both in a good spiritual and mental place to discuss finances.  Lay it all open.  Full disclosure.  I looked forward to it as much as pulling off a band-aid.  But it is necessary to be united in this area.  Finances are widely known to be a MAJOR factor in marital discord and we’ve had enough of that for a long while, thank you.  Time to address the elephant in the room:

Luke 8:17  For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

So we laid it out, put it on an Excel sheet (TypeA hubby), and have the beginnings of our “plan” to start chipping away.  It won’t be overnight.  It’s going to take some discipline.  I’ll tell you what though, it is an enormous weight off my shoulders to have faced that beast and shared that burden.  I know everyone has their own system and you do what works.  For us though, we share it all: income and expense.  For us, that’s what works.  And we march forward.   How about you?  Head in the sand or fully aware?  It’s a difficult topic and generally finances are off-limits as a discussion.  Unfortunately, I think that’s one of the reasons our economy got to be where it is, no one discusses finances.

Now onto tackling the remainder of the resolutions goals.  Quiet time in prayer and Health. To be continued…..

Winding down and gearing up…

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As we wind down Christmas and our tree accelerates the dropping of the needles daily as ornaments desperately cling to crunchy branches, my mind turns to the coming of the new year.  While I’m not big on making/keeping “Resolutions”, I DO always seem to become reflective on things I’d like to improve upon in the coming year.  The New Year is always full of promise and hope, like new school supplies….unsharpened pencils, reams of paper, crisp folders; ready, willing and able to be molded to our choices.

Even though I am quick to claim I don’t make “Resolutions”, the truth is, of COURSE I do.  I just realize that I am only good at keeping them for a couple of weeks.  Since the gym is generally crowed until about February, I also know I have a lot of company in short-lived resolutions.  However, in the blissful, wide-eyed moments of promise and hope to come in the New Year, I feel propelled and motivated, especially after reading “5 Keys to Making and Keeping Your New Year Resolutions” @ The Hill House.  

My course of action for 2012 includes a few things:

  • Eating more healthy and exercising.  Quite the popular one.  Of course I’d like to lose weight, but the reality is that I’m not getting any younger and as my patients tell me daily, “It’s a B**** getting old!” I want to be in a good place to face those physical challenges getting older brings.  I want to run and bike and play with my kids and BEAT THEM in their games–yes, sometimes I AM competitive!  Therefore, in keeping with “defining the win”, my workouts will primarily occur at lunchtime, 3X a week and my eating will consist primarily of clean-er eating and learning how to ditch the processed stuff AND incorporate that into my family’s diet as well.  A HUGE task for sure, but some truly astounding payoffs as well. 
 Just as the story of Daniel (Daniel 1:8-15)  shows how eating clean makes for stronger, better, faster, it’s also indicative of the fact that everything we need to be properly nourished and strengthened is provided by nature, not Publix. 
  • More focused “Quiet time” in prayer and seeking time with Christ.  While my morning routine begins with The Daily Readings, it often ends there as well.  Since I am trying to cram EVERYTHING into my mornings (Quiet time, Exercise, Writing….) there is no singular focus on any one of them.  My quiet time has long sustained me, given me strength, peace, clarity and guidance; it’s time to return, focused and un-hurried to that precious time.  When I begin my day in prayer and focused on His will for me, everything else seems to fall in place.
Matthew 6:33  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
  • Reintroducing hubby to the finance side of the family and tightening up.  As we can finally begin to dig out of debt with his job adding to the household income, his TypeA personality will be crucial to my tendency to slide…..it’s a team effort for certain and certain to experience growing pains, but  we will be able to balance each other  as well as the budget along with becoming better stewards of all that God sees fit to bless us with, and bless us He has.  Abundantly.

Luke 6:38  Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

In reaching for my main goals this coming year, my writing may or may not blossom.  Time will tell.  However, as this has always been more about keeping in touch and therapy for my heart, I’m sure I can always find time to bang out a post now and then; it’s just not a huge priority.  Yet.

Expectations.

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As your life is likely as busy as ours this time of year, I’m sure you are familiar with the reality of things not always working out as expected.  It’s life.  The planets are NOT all aligned for every event to occur without a hitch and if one can’t practice some flexibility in life then it’s going to be one bitter horsepill to swallow on a regular basis.

This weekend I was sure that we were fairly open in our schedule sans for two events:  1.  Walk through Bethlehem on Saturday evening  2.  Children’s Christmas program at our church Sunday afternoon.  Now, in hindsight,  one would think my spidey senses would have been tingling…ERROR, ERROR, ERROR at the complete ridiculousness of an “Open” schedule at this point in December, however, they failed me.  My calendar, the one right on the wall of the kitchen.  The one that we write our life on.  The one I pass a million times a day.  Yes.  That one would have reminded me of all that was planned this weekend.  And that would require looking at it.   live and learn.  live and learn.  Fortunately, I did look at it Friday night, so I had a few hours to mentally prepare:

  • Routine Saturday chores, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc…..AND get our youngest to her liturgical dance practice.  It is the 3rd Sunday (Family Mass) and they perform a little dance and have practice the day before.  Oops.
  • “Happy birthday, Jesus” annual lunch with my grandparents.  At our house.  Menu????  Oops.

So, though it wasn’t a lot of extra activity, the activities DID require time management, organization and calm.  We pulled it off (because generally I work better under pressure, not so great for my stress level, but TREMENDOUS for my focusing abilities).

Amid all the flurry of activity, the biggest disappointment was our Walk through Bethlehem.  Having never been to this particular event, nor had I spoken to anyone who had an idea of how it all operated, we went in blind.  Sadly, we made the call to exit the line after realizing we were looking at least a two-hour wait before we got it.  We don’t do lines well.  When we are ill-prepared for the line, it’s even worse.  However, we regrouped, and drove around to look at Christmas light displays and ate cookies in the care (Dad totally rocked on THAT little preparation!!).  So Plan “B” was a hit.  Mostly.  At least it restored harmony to the family.  Mostly.  And we were able to salvage the evening.  Mostly.

 

 

 

 

The Roman Soldier casing the place…the only part we sa

 

 

 

 

Some of the lights from our drive 

 

 

And because we weren’t busy enough, the baking bug hit me Sunday.  Between Mass and the Christmas program, we baked away:  Poppy seed bread.  Chocolate chip cookies.  Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.  and our family favorite, Buckeye Balls.  I’m done.  done.  done.  done.  done.

Good lessons learned this weekend:  Check the calendar.  Always.  Twice daily when it’s December (or May).  Roll with it and be prepared to modify the “Plan”.  Expectations are destined to fall short.  Flexibility is king.  Have plenty of preparations on hand.  Or a decent time frame whilst the bread is baking to make an impromptu trip to Publix to re-stock.  Enjoy.  Every.  Little.  Moment.   It will be January before we know it!

 

Learning to let go of perfect…

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Edwin Bliss has said, “The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.”

This past few days I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote.  In a busy world, with four active children, a husband and full-time jobs for both of us, we are blessed.  Like many of our friends, neighbors and acquaintances in this wildly busy life, we cram as much as we can pack down, shake a bit and pack some more into most days/weeks/months.  Unfortunately, we (hubby and I) both err a  little on the “perfectionist” side of things…one of us <ahem> more than the other, but we both want things done and we want them done well.  The danger in that is, that we (me) often lose sight of what is important.  I become more focused on doing it ALL and doing it ALL (seemingly) effortless and perfectly.  It’s exhausting.  (the kicker is, the end result is RARELY perfect)  And now I know why….I’ve lost focus on what in the heck I am doing.  I am more interested in executing perfection than finding gratification and excellence.  It IS frustrating and leads me to completing tasks “perfectly” and seldom gratified and often grumpy.

To change focus.  It’s going to take some practice to let go of “perfect” and settle for gratification.  I’m not sure if I can do that, but it’s got to be worth the effort.  Right?