Category Archives: Parenting

Beauty and the judge

At a football game for my daughter’s cheer squad I saw a young girl (maybe a mom, not sure) with the tiniest of tank tops (barely covering the important parts) and the shortest of shorts in white.  She sat with the football players.  I sat with my jaw to the ground.

At the produce store, a young girl in a barely there t-shirt and bikini bottoms prancing around.

At an interview and struggling to maintain eye contact as cleavage joins in the interview process. 

I have a confession to make.   I am incredibly judgemental.  I try not to be, but truth be told; I judge.  Hard.  It’s a struggle.  Sometimes, it’s because I care enough to point out the obvious, i.e. shorts too short/tight/ripped, etc.  Sometimes it’s within the limits of my own children and setting boundaries and sometimes I turn the ugly, judgemental eye….think along the lines of “What not to wear”.  The irony of it all, is I am no fashion maven and have had enough “what not to wear” moments that Stacey and Clinton should be here yesterday with their $5000 and help a sister out. But.  It’s not the fashion mishaps that concern me (mostly, I find THOSE highly entertaining and educational) it’s the blatant sexism in fashion and the lowering of the moral bar in what should be deemed acceptable. Starting in the toddler section and it doesn’t stop there.

Our girls have been blessed some truly awesome hand-me-downs in the past, however, a large portion of those clothes just kept on going out the door to the thrift store due to inappropriateness.  I mean, do we REALLY need to see ass-crease with every pair of shorts???  We’ve had several talks.  Together. One on one.  At the table.  In the car.  In the stores.  They know exactly where Dad and I stand in what’s allowable (basically school dress code=family dress codes for most things…but not flip-flops, I mean, c’mon…we live in Florida!).  For the most part, they abide by the rules.  In truth, they do each own a pair or two of hootchie shorts, however, they are mainly for the house or sleeping in.  Sometimes, they make it out though.  The point is, we and they are trying and trying hard.

Most importantly, I think they are receiving the message of modesty and the importance of what you wear and the message it sends.  Incredibly difficult is short shopping, dress shopping and back to school shopping (which sadly is upon us).  Challenging also in peer circles and learning to stand your ground and making your parent’s message yours.

Such a tough battle and a constant fight in staying modest.  We can’t advertise sex 24/7 from age toddler up and expect no problems.  Yes, I know that what you wear should be what you want to, but this is life and life isn’t fair.

So I judge.  And I use those judgements as teachable moments.  Mostly.  For the other times, well…..I’m working on that and I have this handy-dandy Matthew to keep me company.

Matthew 7: 1-3  (NASB)

7 “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and [a]by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

Matthew 7:1-5 (The Message)

1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

**Bible verses from the Bible Gateway

And then…this video making ALL the noise.  And it really fits in.  With the immodest dressing.  Overmakeup.  Trying too hard.  I shared it with my girls and I want to work harder by leading by example, otherwise it’s just words, right?  So, thank you, Colbie!!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/13/colbie-caillat-try_n_5581951.html

 

School situations and changes..

Homeschool? Private? Suck it up at sucky public school?  All options we will be likely weighing over the next few weeks or months.  I know, “Do not worry about tomorrow….”.  Got it.  BUT…..what’s the difference between worry and pre-planning?  There is a good chance that due to a house sale our kids will lose the address that keeps them all in schools we have been happy and lucky with.  Except for our rising 9th grader who will keep his school due to the academy  he is in next year.

So our choices are:

  • suck it up for the schools we will be zoned for.  even though the middle school is NUMBERO UNO on the “Top 25 Incidents” in our area and the ONLY one with gang related activity (reported anyway).
  • find the funds for private.  right.  let me run out and check the garden to see if that lettuce is growing some Benjamins.
  • homeschool.  at this level.  I don’t even know if I’m capable.

So.  Just pray.  Chime in if you got some ideas.  I’m allllllllllll ears!

Spring Breakin’

Spring Break here and I heard through the weather channel grapevine that some unfortunate people north of us are getting MORE of the white stuff.  Absolutely incomprehensible in my balmy world.  And fascinating.  Nonetheless, we ARE getting cooler temps and rain (all day today, allegedly) in the 60s, so Brrr.  Glad I kept on the flannels a little longer!

For me spring break is a break from getting the kids rolling in the mornings and I have a contest with myself every morning of how much I can get done before I get to work, or just lollygag on the computer…BECAUSE I CAN.  Going to cut it close today.  REALLLLL close!  Alas, work calls. Got to feed these kids.

I did take the morning off on the first day of Spring Break to enjoy the County Fitness Festival of which our youngest participated in 3 events:  50-yard dash, shuttle run and 440 Relay.  It was a GLORIOUS morning to take off so I’ll share the pics with you.  Enjoy and stay warm, people.

Our girl and a few of her buddies pre-festivities!

Our girl and a few of her buddies pre-festivities!

 

 

 

 

I lugged these things and out of 3 hours, they saw about 30 minutes of use.  #bettertohaveandnotneed

I lugged these things and out of 3 hours, they saw about 30 minutes of use. #bettertohaveandnotneed

50 yard dash

50 yard dash

Shuttle run...I'm always holding my breath there is no split action on the turn around.

Shuttle run…I’m always holding my breath there is no split action on the turn around.

Relay.  NO baton dropping for the 5th place out of 17 finish!

Relay. NO baton dropping for the 5th place out of 17 finish!

Lent, life, loss, hope

DSC_0004

Once upon a time, there was a couple who had been married a long time.  Blessed with 4 children who were happy, healthy and going through the usual ups and downs of childhood.  No complaints, just normal life.  This couple was open to life.  Even though they are both approaching mid 40s, they were healthy and open to God’s plan in regards to their family.  Lo, and behold one day it happened.  The woman suddenly and without warning re-gained her sense of smell during Mass whilst seated next to a woman who clearly hit the garlic rolls the night before,(heavy emphasis on garlic).  Confused with this return of olfactory sensation and accompanying nausea, a quick count on the PeriodTrackerApp prompted a visit to the local CVS.

Confirmation post peeing on a stick.  Twice.  And the world began to spin.

Fast forward through the week of sudden shock and awe at this life turn of events as the couple quietly processes the news with prayers, trepidation, joy, laughter, wonder and trust.  Clearly God has a plan here; who were they to question.

Then.

Just as the reality settled itself and planning stages were to begin:  when to tell the kids, the family, friend, etc., doctor’s appointment, bedroom rearranging, financial rearrangement, etc, etc, etc..  The woman began to bleed.

And cramp.

And reality readjusted.  And plans were undone.  Tears were cried.  A mental day was taken.  And with Lent upon them, they clung to the promise that God’s plan is infinitely better than their own.  Despite the temporary confusion and fog, He has great things in store.  In addition to His promise of hope and plans and future, He has given this family, this couple a special soul to intercede on their behalf.

Thanks be to God.

imgres Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Dear, Biebs

Dear Biebs~(can I call you Biebs?  well, I did….I am older than you)

imgres

Listen, it’s about time we had a little chat.  See, I have an almost teenster here in the house that absolutely adores you.  Beliebster to the max.  She has 3 other siblings that mock and ridicule her puppy-love for you in an unending fashion.  She can take it though, her love is strong.  Today, she was embarrassed for you.  Really embarrassed.  She is going as far as taking her iPod case cover of you off and going back to her polka dot number.  That’s a big deal, dude.  She is still mulling over removing the posters, mainly because there is such a large selection of your younger, more well-behaved days.  Concert?  Out of the question.  Movie?  Nope.  Lately, your 19 year-old shenanigans are fodder for many teaching moments of “What NOT to do” and “How NOT to behave”.  Our boys are SO over hearing it.

You had a pretty good run there and I’ll admit, I was smitten with your adorable-ness.  However, now.  Now.  Shake my head.  You are in luck, though.  This country we live in has an immeasurable ability to forgive our celebrities for their poor decisions (especially our younger celebrities).  We’ve all made mistakes; the question is what do we do with the knowledge we gain from those mistakes?  So, I offer you up a few little tidbits of “elderly” advice:

1)  Don’t smile for your mug shot.  Let’s try to look a little repentant, K?  Presentation is everything.

2)  Time to pick some new friends.  Change the playground.  Your homies…they’re steering you WRONG.  All.  Over.  The.  Place.  Fo’ realzie.  Go low under the radar.  Friends or hangers on?  There IS a difference.

3)  Eggs are for hardboiling or scrambling.  Bake with them.  Put them in a smoothie.  Juggling perhaps, but tossing.  Vandalizing.  Boo hiss.  Not their function.

4)  We don’t always get along with our neighbors;  practice civility and kill ’em with kindness.  Spitting is just gross.  Love thy neighbor.  Goes a long, long way and sometimes, if you have the flu or have a major crisis in your life they are there with chicken soup or a grocery bag of food to help you through it.  Your neighbors probably just want to help you pack.  And move on out.

5)  “That” is NOT where you are going to find a nice girl.  You know what I am talking about here. You may find a nice case of something requiring some antibiotics, but a nice girl?  no.  Move on.  Eww.  Just eww.

6)  Call your mom.  I think you need some time with Mama, a nice little old fashioned what-for.  If she’s not available, come on over.  I’m happy to yank your ear over some hot chocolate and a “family meeting”.

7)  You’ve got a lot of years ahead of you and a lot of talent.  Take this time off and use it wisely.  Recreate your image to a lesser thug-life image.  Let’s pull it together.  Maybe you could get together with Justin Timberlake for some pointers since he’s managed to be wildly successful without crashing and burning.  Just a thought.  Haven’t we had enough Lindsay Lohans and Amy Winehouses?

Until then my friend, my daughter is off-limits.  (Probably forever, but at least until you show a decent track record of behaving a little/lot better).  Her heart will mend, but she’s learned a good few lessons on what kind of man she doesn’t want to be with (I sure hope so, anyway).

Blessings and best of luck on your recovery time in rehab.  (that’s generally the next step after something like this, right?)

Tracy