Tag Archives: parenting

Speedbumps

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We all get them.  Those pesky little speed bumps along the way.  When life is just a plugging along and all is hunky-dorey and BUMP….not so much.  Like a car, we adjust our speed, take a little more care navigating and then move on along until the next one.  And there WILL be a next one.  It’s just life.  Therefore, there is the matter of how you react to each little (or big) speed bump.  You can let it completely derail your day/week/month/year or you can accept that such is life and do what you can to live your life IN SPITE of the speed bump nuisance.  I suppose personality has a lot to do with how we deal with problems, as well as faith, support systems and how we were taught to deal with life’s “unfairness” or inevitable changes.

This week we have been dealing with a “stomach ache” x several days with our youngest.  I HATE stomach aches.  When there are no other symptoms, I generally view it as a cry for attention.  Compassionate, aren’t I?  However…….when it continues for days, accompanied by sloth behavior and limited appetite?  Now you have my attention.  So off to the doctor’s we go and leave with a prescription in hand for Strep throat.  Again.  Now I just feel guilty.  Blah.  Stewing in it isn’t productive so I own my guilt for  a bit, realize I didn’t overreact (because seriously, if I went to the office for EVERY symptom, #1 I’d be broke (more than usual) and #2 I’d be Facebook friends with the entire office!).  Anyway, I went with my gut, it paid off, hugs and drugs administered….moving on.

We also had an issue come up with a dear friend who is really dealing with some challenging life choices and a denial of sorts as well as with poor coping skills.  It’s truly turning into a snowball of complications and it’s difficult to watch it happen.  Hubby was able to begin a dialogue with him, as his friend, and hopefully it’s the beginning of SOMETHING.  Sadly, we can only make our own decisions.  Sometimes we have to be the friend who steps in and speaks the hard truth out of love.  And that’s a tricky situation, stepping way out of the comfort zone.  At the end of the day though, we have to live with the choices WE make and if we’ve done the best we could, sometimes that has to be enough.

Here’s to navigating life’s speed bumps one at a time, fully focused and wisely adjusting our speed for each one!

He who fights even the smallest distractions faithfully when he says even the very smallest prayer, will also be faithful in great things.

— St. Louis de Montfort

Life giving friendships

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These girls, ladies, women, amazing friends and sisters in Christ.  They’ve been an integral thread in my life for a dozen years.  We met during a women’s retreat at our parish and many of our husbands participated in the men’s retreat that took place after ours.  Our retreat group was probably twice this size after formation, but this group……THIS group struck a bond.  A bond that went beyond formation and providing the next retreat.  A bond strengthened over bible studies, rosaries, dinners and desserts.  In spite of busy lives and season changes, we’ve managed to stick together, each taking a piece of the other’s heart so that we are all forever sisters regardless of distance and life’s plans for us.  These are life giving friends.

This picture captures a rare moment of togetherness recently,  and marks the move of one friend and her family to Washington D.C.  The fact that we were ALL able to make the dinner (with school over and summer ON, one with laryngitis, one leaving the next day with her husband and 6 kiddos on vacation, myself being 4 hours away, and one with a newborn) was an amazing accomplishment in itself–on a Wednesday night no less!  It was a bittersweet dinner (saying goodbye is NEVER easy) however, we were ALL able to take turns “catching up” in a roundtable discussion and enjoy each other’s company, laughing at stories and enjoying super delicious food, too–BONUS!

12 years brings much opportunity for prayer, encouragement, hope, love and comfort.  What a blessing in these friendships, an abundant harvest resulting from following the prompting of our Lord to attend a weekend retreat.

These friendships are a tapestry of prayer and God reveals the image one story at a time.  Through the years He’s weaved that tapestry through praying for one another and sharing in each other’s lives.

Prayers for struggling marriages and praises for God’s gift of forgiveness, compromise, commitment, and strength in fighting through the challenges and the fruit of  healed hearts.

Prayers for babies born and unborn and praises for those who took their sweet, sweet time.

Prayers for being open to life  and praises for the many varied gifts of life in this culture of death.

Prayers for children’s health, novenas for treatment and praises in God’s gift of talented physicians, compassionate nurses and a network of prayer warriors storming heaven.

Prayers for children lost in the sea of peer pressure and hurt as they spread their wings and fly solo, praises for God’s path and the gift of  healing through angels on earth who allow the Holy Spirit to form their words and gently redirect their path.

Prayers for the unfairness of cancer and all the promises it robs, praises for the power of prayer, God’s will and the promises of His plan far exceeding our own.

Prayers for guidance and advice in the ongoing vocation of motherhood and marriage, and praises for God’s wisdom and love provided through friends as we all weave our families through this obstacle course of life.

Prayers through job loss and financial struggles and praises for jobs found, opportunities presented a faith to step out of comfort zones into Trust.

Prayers throughout a family’s prison ordeal and praises for a family restored.

Prayers for friends who move away and praises for the unexpected gifts received in stepping out in love and hope.

Prayers spoken, fears whispered, tears shed, hope restored, love shared, faith renewed.  Prayer warriors and lifetime friends.  A bond not weakened by distance.  A bond strengthened through prayer, sharing, love and faith.

Thank you, Lord for the gift of friends.  I am truly blessed.

Proverbs 11:14 

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

For more on friendship Scripture check here…

Time management…..whatev! We can’t ALL be perfect.

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Here we are in our second week of summer.  Yesterday as I rolled into work late for the second day in a row it occurred to me that my time management skills are el sucko!  Actually, not so much that it’s my time management skills but that fact that I haven’t made a successful transition to our summer schedule yet. Nor have  I even tried.  Therein lies the problem.  And then I remember, for some reason it usually takes me about two weeks to make the transition to a new routine……..WHY?!??!!?

In the mornings I am now finding myself with a surplus of time and that is the foundation of my time management rearrangement challenge.  With all this extra time I feel I can do so much more, neglecting the clock and then rushing like a madwoman in the last 5 minutes and leaving late (BUT…..still managing to get it done….just late!).

Last night I looked at my morning and mentally readjusted my “plan” allotting myself a set time for my Quiet time in the morning with a definitive END time to my Quiet activities, thus BEGINNING my daily routine of getting the girls up, ready and out the door.  ON.  TIME.

Here we go.  Day 1 of readjusting the summer clock.  Wish me luck!!  Anyone else have problems adjusting to new changes in schedules, i.e. summer, back-to-school??  Or is it just me?

Trendy VS Classic…there’s a reason trends come and go

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I’ll stick with the trends that won’t wreck my life, scar me or put my children in position they are not ready to be in before they can handle it.

This came and went….

This will never disappoint….

trend·y (trnd) Informal

adj. trend·i·er, trend·i·est

Of or in accord with the latest fad or fashion: trendy clothes.
n. pl. trend·ies

One who is drawn to and represents the latest trend
Fashion trends are one thing.  They come, they go.  They add a little zip into your wardrobe and shake things up.  I like a trendy piece here and there, generally though, I am a T-shirt and shorts or capris kind of gal.  I put a little extra effort in for Mass on Sundays and date-night with Hubby, aside from that, I’m happy in my regular outfit, or even workout clothes, it’s all about comfort for me!
 
                                                                          I just don’t get it….
Then you have tattoos.  Quite popular these days.  We live near the beach and believe me when I say we are SO in the minority here, having fresh, ink-free skin.  Everyone’s got ’em.  From a little wrist or ankle tat, to the tramp stamp to the full on sleeves.  A day trip to the water park is a quick education in all the varieties and evolution of the tattoo from the fresh 19 year-old skin to the been-there-done-that 40 something, few kids later and some sun damage and suddenly it’s not quite the tat it was 20 years earlier.  Other people can do what they want, it’s just not for me.  I can’t seem to pick something that I think I’ll STILL love 5, 20, 50 years from now.  Tattoo removal is a big business, big money,  pain involved and you don’t end up with the smooth ink-free spot you started out with when you are done.  I’ll stick with the trends that I can pack up and send to Goodwill after a year or so….
The one parenting trend that currently “wraps me around the axle” (as my girlfriend says) is the Co-Ed Sleepover for high schoolers.  Time magazine even has an article with tips on how to run your own child’s co-ed sleepover.  WHAT?!?!?!  THE??!!?? (insert expletive here!).  You’ve got to be kidding me!!!  For our family, we limit sleepovers to a few friends and are slowly phasing them out.  We don’t even host them.  We have boys and girls and as they get older, it’s just a mix I don’t want to  encourage.  There’s just nothing to think about here.  Add boy + girls + raging hormones and shut out the lights.  Hmmmmm   Really?  I’m just flabbergasted that anyone would think this is a good idea.  Implement all the “safety issues” you want, but believe me, “IT” can still happen, even with safety measures in place.
Recently, a Facebook friend took a poll on co-ed sleepovers and with the exception of ONE person, the majority was mightily against the idea.  It turns out my friend was polling to show proof that most parents oppose to her high-schooler.  It was refreshing to see those opposed, but it also made me wonder:  if it’s the parents that are pressured into the sleepovers by their kids, then what message does that send about how to stand up against peer-pressure to the kids?  Kids will do what they are going to do (and I was a kid and I DID make poor choices), but as parents, aren’t we called to guide those choices wisely?  To guard them against youthful mistakes?  With medical proof that brain development is HUGE from adolescence to age 20 or so (nothing we didn’t already know….but now have  proof!), a teen’s frontal lobes are still developing and learning to master emotions and decision-making skills, why would we willingly thrust them into a situation to further complicate matters?
Kids are going to mess up.  It’s a fact of life.  I don’t want to purposefully make it harder on them.  They NEED us to help them distinguish right from wrong.  They NEED us to say “no”.  They NEED boundaries.  They NEED rules.  They NEED consequences.  So for us, and our children, we will continue to call and verify the occasional sleepover, say “no” to uncomfortable intuitions, enforce boundaries and consequences for breaking rules and testing limits.  These are things that will help our children grown into responsible adults.  It’s hard.  It’s painful for all of us.  It molds our society for tomorrow.  Until they grow up and spread their wings, I’m fine with NOT being the cool parent.  It’s a work in progress and we are far from perfect, but at least we are trying.
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

All good things must come to an end….until next year!!

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Thanks to The Treasure Trove (Lynnell), Dance Mommy’s Odyssey (Laura), Sempiternal (just call me AJ), The General (MB) , Redefining Normal (Brite), The Eagle’s Nest (Amanda), and Blog it ALL (Lea) for this month’s “Blog-Every-Day-in-May”.  Or most days.  Or some days.  Or whatever you felt like days.  It was fun and all good things must (PRAISE GOD FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!) come to an end. (I know my Hubby is happy, too!)  So we will all now return to our regularly planned blog schedule or non-schedule and I thought I’d wrap it up with what I gained from this little exercise Bloggapalooza.

In no specific order:

  • I gained new “Followers” this month….these lucky people automatically receive an email each time I post a new blog, so they never have to worry about missing one single minute detail of my life.  Lucky, right?  Well, in case you want to be lucky, too…just click on the “+Follow” in the top left of the screen…..see below….other handy-dandy tools, “Like” if you enjoy the post and “Reblog” if you really like it and want that to be your post on your blog.  I didn’t even know what that WAS until Sempiternal “Reblogged” me…very cool indeed!
  • I found several new blogs along the way, one to encourage my fitness and health journey AND encourage my Faith walk like Clare @ Peak313Fitness.  The woman loves her some Jesus and keeps the workouts fresh to constantly keep that temple humming and wondering what in the heck is coming next?!?
  • Ellie @ Emerald Pie.  Her life in Ireland is fascinating to me, a world apart and yet no different in her daily life, challenges and busy-ness as a mom and wife.  Her Irish scenery is AH!MAZING!!!!
  • Ex-pats and their very interesting lives in Dubai @ Circles in the Sand and Three years and home in Switzerland.  Witty, insight and photos into other parts of the world, customs, differences in their “normal” lives and how they adjust and roll with each day.
  • A gem of thoughts to teach our daughters (though us parents and sons would benefit, too) from One Joyous Heart . Witty, dry, sometimes right on the edge of cracking, raw observations on motherhood and life to two very young and very close-in-age cutie-pies, Camp Patton (I see glimpses of myself when the girls were so very young at this stage….I want to hug her and tell her, keep taking pictures, take videos…they grow up and you. will. survive!!)
  • I’ll be keeping my day job.  The only time I want to write is first thing in the morning…that 20 extra minutes or so (the “or so” often sets me running behind!) after my Quiet Time.  I don’t think I’ll get a Nobel in those 20 minutes.  Probably.  Apparently you need to write often and enjoy it..another strike.  Soooooooooo…..just press “Follow”…you’ll know when I update.
  • You can get lost for VERY.  LONG.  PERIODS.  OF.  TIME.  on the internet.  You might think I learned this from Facebook.  Child’s play.  There are so many flippin’ blogs out there.  Thank goodness for my Reader, but then I often get sidetracked by hyperlinks to other blogs, then add them to my reader and boom….there goes another hour.  CrAzAY!!!!
  • Stepping out of my comfort zone to share something I feel passionate about usually brings out my best writing.  Over the next couple of months as I move my old mac blog over to WordPress (an EXTREMELY time-consuming process–one would think as “user-friendly” as apple generally is, that “THEY” would have made it easier to transfer blogs once they decided to no longer support mac blogs–but that is a whole other venting blog…) I will also add a page of “The best of….according to Hubby”.

This month I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day internationally, my birthday, my sister’s birthday, the end-of-the-year chaos, enjoyed new baby pictures, witnessed the ups and downs of a NICU baby doing her best to grow big and fat and go home (and won a T-shirt!), remembered the joys of maternity leave and the heartbreak of it ending, new house pictures, great words of encouragement, learned about Broadway plays, enjoyed recipes from new gardens and a world of LIFE happening.

So, this month comes to a close, but the blogging goes on.  Maybe not everyday, but it goes on.  Like life.  So get out there and enjoy it!!  And THANKS for visiting!!